The Silent Place
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: Final in the WSF seris.Mello,after the incident with the Organization,is still working on living with the aftermath.Thats when the trouble started.A series of calls makes Mello understand that sometimes no matter how hard you try you cant escape your past
1. Prologue

**Full Summary: **Mello, two years after the incident with the Organization, is still working on living with the aftermath & his strained relationship with Matt. That was when the trouble started. A series of calls makes Mello understand that sometimes no matter how hard you try you just can't escape your past. **Final in WSF series**. MattMello.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note (or make money from it)

**AN**: Yeah...... *shifty eyes* As stated in the brief AN I posted on the end of JNRR, my last fic Choices (which was HUGE) ate my muse and spat out its tattered remains.... (as well as me being pressed for time now with my job) So I was unable to write the fic I wanted, so I left it up to reviewers which I would do next, as I was in the mood for two of my lesser ideas (rather than' World Tinted Red' which was what I was SUPPOSED to write)

And this was what was chosen. There will be some noticeable changes in the way things are written, as the way I write is a bit different. It is all from Mello's 3rd person. **The fic is complete at this time.**

Enjoy?

**Suggested Listening**: Watching You **by** The White Tie Affair**;** Warning Sign **by** Coldplay (quite a lovely song and I wrote the last part of the prologue to it)

**Prologue**: _Comfort _

It was a cool spring day; cool enough where the leather jacket and hood that was pulled nearly across the blonde's nose wasn't something that was unusual. And despite the skin tight leathers, that had been abysmally difficult to maneuver into, and the large black sunglasses that covered the upper half of his face, nothing was out of the ordinary with him.

People passed him on the streets and paid him no second glances, no extra stares, not one second of their time.

It almost bothered the blonde as much as it satisfied him. For if they ignored him, than he was in no danger. But in the same, if they ignored him... then he was nothing. Not anymore.

His hand clenched in anger at himself as he shook away those thoughts. They were stupid, and very much unwanted. They did him absolutely no good, and he never got anything out of it other than perhaps a fight when he got too frustrated with himself.

He sighed and glanced up at the quickly graying sky and hoped he would get all of the shopping he needed done before the rain. The entire weekend forecast had called for cloudy skies and rain.

Lots of rain.

He hated the rain. And not because of his capture nearly two years before. As far as he knew, it had been practically sunny the entire time. No, he hated the rain because the day he had pulled himself from the race to become L, it had been pouring out.

The sky had been dark and had fit his mood so completely that he now associated rain with that memory. It was not pleasant.

He frowned, the corners up his lips turning downwards.

He hated to think on those days. The ones so soon after he'd been rescued. He had been a complete mess, and more than just his body. He had never felt more useless in his life. Not only had he gotten caught, tortured, and ultimately disfigured, he'd had his face plastered across the _entire _world.

He had known he couldn't be L after that. And he knew he wouldn't have been able to stand it if L had told him he was no longer eligible, so he had withdrawn himself before L could. And he had never regretted his decision once. He was more than a little bitter concerning it, but he didn't regret it.

He hadn't spoken with L since. Though he supposed the detective would have to have either his or Matt's numbers in order for that to happen. Or know where they lived. Matt had made secret preparations for a place to stay, one still somewhat close to Wammys should its safety be needed, while Mello had still been in the hospital after he'd been found.

The moment they had been allowed to leave Matt had taken them on a short vacation to some island, Mello honestly couldn't remember the name of it, and after two months of nothing but sand and sea, had gotten them a flight back to Britain where they had traveled to a flat the furthest away from Wammys as they could while still being in the same country.

And up until recently, he'd yet to really leave the flat for anything. Matt had done all the shopping, or work related things, though Matt rarely even had to do that as he took on cases as he had been before the whole Organization fiasco.

Mello slowed his brusque pace as he neared the grocery store and slightly adjusted the carrying bag that dangled at his side. Another thing he had grown to tolerate.

He had a hard enough time doing the most menial of tasks these days, and it grated at him. But at least if he needed to get things for himself he didn't always have to ask Matt to do it for him.

He had two legs, and one good hand and he'd damn well would use them.

The shopkeeper of the tiny grocery store smiled and waved at him in greeting, having gotten used to his circumstances and strange dress habits weeks ago when he'd first started coming there. Though the first few times he'd gone with Matt, who was on good terms with the aging shopkeeper.

His frown lessened at the thought of the redhead. Two years... two years since Matt and L had gotten him rescued, and he knew those years had taken their toll on his boyfriend. But he was working on fixing things between them.

It was, as usual, himself that was the problem. But Matt seemed to have limitless amounts of patience, and even when it looked like he would snap, he kept his composure. Mello honestly had no idea how Matt did it.

He was grateful though. Because even if he would never tell Matt, the redhead was one of the only reasons he hadn't completely fallen to pieces.

He sighed again as he scanned the shelves for the ingredients he needed. He was going to attempt to make dinner that night. He only planned on making something simple, something that he knew he should be able to make on his own.

Though if he needed Matt's help it wouldn't be too much of a bust.

His sharp eyes caught sight of a canister and he snatched it up and placed it inside the bag. They needed coffee too. And he wasn't about to wait until Matt's gourmet shit came in the mail.

He finally entered the right aisle and gathered the correct tomato based products he needed to make the spaghetti sauce. As well as the pasta. He picked up a few more bars of chocolate for himself and a bag of assorted hard candies for Matt.

His hand froze as he placed the package inside the carrying bag. It felt like... someone was watching him. Not the kind of passing stare, or even lingering glance, but full on _watching _him. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand and all his muscles tense.

He could be wrong... he _was_ much more paranoid those days.

He pretended to look at a few more items, even going to different aisles, but the eyes never left him despite there being no one around. He eventually settled on a small tin of peaches, as it would look a tad suspicious if he wandered around and didn't pick anything else out.

Matt would eat the peaches at any rate, so it wasn't as though he'd wasted money.

He made his way up to the counter and lifted the carrying bag onto the counter and the old shopkeeper smiled at him again.

"How are things with you this week?" she asked while going through the list of items he had before punching in the individual numbers for each; the scanner had been down for some time and didn't appear to be getting fixed anytime soon.

"Same as always I suppose." he gave the woman a weak smile though his eyes darted around to find the source of his rising anxiety. There was a woman and her child to his far left and a teenager rifling through magazines on his right, and no one in the doorway.

His eyes narrowed in frustration as the feeling hadn't gone away, and it only seemed to intensify every second.

"Don't let things get you down. I'm sure things will get better before you know it. "

He felt himself nod at her before he had even really registered her words. He saw the total on the small screen and pulled out his wallet and after a moment of fiddling with it, was able to retrieve the right amount and hand it to her.

He had long ago gotten used to the rather humiliating display of using one hand so he wasn't as bothered by it and merely waited for his change.

"Here you go." she placed the change into his wallet, as she sometimes did for him, and he smiled with politeness he didn't feel as he left the store. The feeling hadn't gone away, at all, and Mello knew that if there really was something going on he would never forgive himself if he brought it straight back home with him.

He kept his expressions blank as he started on the long way home. He was tense and only slightly relaxed when the feeling of being watched left, and was replaced with the nothing he was usually faced with.

As he neared the flat, more than ready to have a nice sit down with a cup of coffee, he mulled over whether or not to mention it to Matt. He winced at the thought.

There was no way he would tell the redhead. Matt had more than enough to worry about without adding his own paranoia into the mix again. Ever since he'd gotten rescued he had been more paranoid than ever and it wasn't something he found that he could really help.

He clenched his fist and grit his teeth in annoyance. He wished he could just get over everything so that Matt would have nothing to stress over, but he knew that was a long time in coming, if ever.

With another sigh he pulled the key out from his pocket, though it was tied to a small cord that was attached to his belt in case he dropped it, and entered the mostly silent flat.

Walking into the kitchen he deposited the carrying bag onto the kitchen table and smiled at the obviously just finishing pot of coffee. It seemed Matt had saved him the trouble...

He went into the top cabinet and pulled out one of the room temperature bars of dark chocolate and used his teeth to begin the unwrapping process. Once he had procured a mug he poured himself coffee and dumped the bar into it and stirred it occasionally until the chocolate had melted. He took a sip and sighed in pleasure as the warm liquid slid down to his belly.

He was definitely glad that he'd thought to buy more coffee, as he saw the last can sitting in the rubbish bin. He felt his body warm a bit more and wished that he didn't get so cold as quick as he did.

He hated the weather there, but Matt had chosen the place and he would not say a word against it after everything Matt had done for him. He set the mug down, to allow the coffee to cool a bit more, as he devised himself of his jacket and glasses; setting each back in their correct place.

He than emptied the carrying bag and set out the cooking pot he would need for the sauce as well as a smaller one for the noodles. He debated on whether or not to make some soda bread but after checking the cabinet decided it was something Matt could help him with later when he was busy with the sauce.

He retrieved the coffee, kicked his boots off into the corner and sat down on the couch. As he leaned into the soft material of the still rather new piece of furniture, he had to wonder where Matt was.

The redhead wasn't making much noise, so he was either reading up on some case or taking a rest. Matt had, for the past few days, been working on something big, and it had him staying up at all hours of the night; which explained the coffee at nearly ten in the morning after the previous pot at seven.

Though he honestly had no idea what it was that could give Matt so much trouble. He wouldn't ask though.

He sat there in the silence, for a time, and simply enjoyed the coffee until it was finished. And even then he sat there for a few more minutes before hauling himself off the couch and back into the kitchen.

He supposed that it was about time to start the sauce if they wanted to eat anytime that day, though lunch would have to be something else. He picked up one of the small cans of tomato paste he'd bought and held it against his side with his left arm while he used the handheld can opener to remove the lid.

He had found, that once he'd accepted his disability, that he was able to do a lot more on his own rather than simply throwing a silent fit and brooding.

He dumped the contents into the pot and repeated the process with all of the cans. He took one of the cans and filled it with water and poured it into the pot as well, and adjusted the amount of water a tad more as he added a few more things as he turned the burner on.

He would need to check on it every once and a while to stir things in, or just to stir it so the sauce didn't burn on the bottom of the pot.

But for the moment he would go and finish the novel he'd been reading for the passed few days. He picked the thick book off the coffee table and stood there, silently debating whether to curl up on the plush chair or simply sit on the couch.

He sucked in a sharp breath as arm wrapped themselves around his middle and a soft kiss was planted on his cheek in apology. He felt guilty, more than a little, at the very loose hold Matt had on him.

Ever since he'd gotten back and healed he couldn't stand anyone touching him, anywhere, including Matt. But it wasn't the same as before, when he had been staying away from Matt out of guilt when he'd used his body for information. He felt that this time had more to do with anyone touching his scars than anything else, as there were a large number of them now.

He turned in the hold and wrapped his arms around the redhead, feeling even worse at the look of surprise that crossed Matt's face.

He knew that the entire situation hadn't been easy on his boyfriend, knew that _he_ hadn't been easy to deal with, as he tended to push Matt away more often than not. He closed his eyes and forced himself to relax in the embrace, despite not being wholly comfortable with it.

"Mello."

He looked up at the soft tone of Matt's voice and resisted the urge to move away as Matt's fingers brushed back stray pieces of his hair.

"You don't have to do this if it bothers you. You know I don't mind." Matt told him with a smile, though it was strained, tired.

And he _knew_ for a _fact_ that it bothered Matt not being able to touch him, even just to hug him, without having him shy away. So Mello took a shaky breath and shook his head.

"I want to.. I just..." he clenched his teeth towards the end and curled his fingers violently into Matt's side and had to look away as the tears formed. He hated being that weak, and hated it even more that Matt saw it, always, even when he was sure he'd hidden it well.

He wanted nothing more than for things to go back to normal, for them to be able to just _live_. But he knew that things may never be that simple again.

Matt pressed a kiss to his hair and his arms tightened ever so slightly around him. Mello didn't let his tears fall and neither did he pull away. And he had to think that it was some sort of awkward progress on his part.

Because if he didn't, he thought he might just scream.

**-End **_**Comfort**_**-**

**AN**: A reallllly long prologue, yay?

And..... I actually hate spaghetti (its the red sauce.. HATE IT!) and soda bread. Lol But other than my little idiosyncrasies, how was this for a prologue? You only get a small hint of plot... but things will pick up quicker than in the other fics of this series. Kinda...

And I know I said this last time in JNRR... but this will be the last one, as I have a certain ending mostly written out even before I really started it, and I'm actually happy with it. And I think it ends the series nicely. But enough of that.....

**Review???**


	2. Chapter 1: Call

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note.

**AN**: W00t chapter one. We haz pl0t! I originally was going to wait the week to post this but I had already edited this (and there is going to be a huge storm or something for the next three days so I'm sure I'll be swamped at work and too tired to post)

**Suggested Listening**: Perfectly Die **by** Bed Destroyers**;** Mosh N' Church **by** The Used

**Chapter One**: _Call_

Mello hadn't recalled falling asleep, but as his mind rose to full awakening he registered with certainty that it hadn't been too long ago, probably only a few short hours, if that. But as he lay there, silent in his hope to fall back asleep, he was made aware that what woke him wasn't quite his usual demons and general sleeplessness.

Something nagged at his brain and was causing his thoughts to race more than usual, which had resulted in his waking up; but he couldn't quite pick out what it was. He tried, for another ten full minutes, before inwardly cursing in defeat.

There would be no more sleep that night. Though as he glanced at the clock he registered that he'd gotten a solid four hours, which was forty minutes better than the night before. Which was something, at any rate.

Quietly, so as to let Matt continue to sleep, as he knew the redhead had only gone to bed a short while ago, the illuminated Gameboy screen attesting to that, he slid the covers off his tired body.

He moved off the bed but stilled as Matt rolled over and his name spilled from his lips. "Mihael..." his voice was soft, almost a sad sounding sigh, and sleep mused. He stared at Matt's face but it soon became evident that he was still asleep. Smiling slightly, Mello left the bedroom and closed the door behind himself.

He yawned, as he switched the kitchen lights on, and inwardly grumbled at the time that the stove clock read. Just eleven minutes after one o'clock. Wonderful.

On the upside, he mused, as he readied a pot of strong coffee from the new can, that he had at least managed to keep Matt asleep. Matt, as of the last six months or so, seemed to have become acutely aware of his sleepless habits and had taken to waking at the slightest movement.

And despite how tired Matt was on the nights he woke, he would generally join him even if all they did was sip coffee in silence. But Mello knew that Matt couldn't keep up with that kind of sleeplessness, hell _he_ couldn't even keep up with it.

Worrying his lip slightly he switched on the coffee maker and leaned slightly on the counter, his eyes sluggishly roamed across the room and its surfaces. He eventually eyed the corner that the front door was hidden behind and wondered, just when exactly, Matt's gourmet coffee would get there.

He would never admit it to Matt, as he could practically see the smug grin that would stretch his boyfriend's lips, but he had become rather fond of the redheads choice in coffee.

He leaned further against the counter, head tilting back, as he felt the familiar tug just behind his eye sockets. He knew it was the beginnings of another headache, and really it wasn't all that surprising with his lack of sleep.

The coffee maker beeped, pulling him from his drifting thoughts, and he pulled out a mug and fixed himself a cup. Though this time it consisted more of actual coffee than chocolate, as Mello knew he needed the caffeine more.

Silently, despite being far enough away from the bedroom that noise shouldn't bother Matt, he headed to the living room and after a moments finagling, curled up on the puffed up arm chair with a blanket across his lap. Halfway through the coffee, his thoughts began to nag at him again, though he still could not pick out what it was that _actually_ bothered him.

His fingers curled more harshly around the mug and he wondered if it had anything to do with the incident that morning, or rather, previous morning. He brought the cup closer to his face and sighed heavily.

He had tried not to think on it, as his paranoia was almost worse than it had back when he'd been in the mafia, but the more he rewound the events, the more something seemed... wrong. Usually he was able to rationalize his paranoia and find something in his memories that set it off, but there really was nothing this time.

He leaned back, and after balancing the coffee cup on the chairs arm, pulled the blanket further up so that it rested on his chest. He titled his head to the side and closed his eyes against the faint glow of light that spilled from the kitchen.

It was only sometime later, at the sound of rapid typing, did he wake in complete surprise to find that he had managed to fall back asleep.

He blinked rapidly as the typing stopped and something warm was thrust into his hand. The sweet aroma of his chocolate coffee swirled up to him and he looked questioningly up at Matt.

"For the past hour you have been twitching, which usually means you'll wake soon. I already had coffee on and knew you would probably want another cup." Matt told him; the soft tug at the corner of Matt's lips let him know that he was amused.

"Thank you." he muttered and sipped at the coffee, which was still hot. Matt kissed his cheek before he went back to his laptop, which had been teetering precariously on the edge of the couch.

As he slowly woke, for the second time that day, his eyes swiveled to the wall clock across the room. His eyes widened at the time, it being that of nearly noon. He had slept for quite some time after his initial nighttime wandering.

"Hey Mello, I'm starving so I'm going to pick us something up at the deli, any preferences?" Matt's voice broke through the fog of waking and he couldn't answer as a yawn ripped its way passed his mouth.

Matt shook his head with a soft laugh. "Right, that was stupid of me. You're not awake enough to know what you want other than coffee."

He stared at Matt and honestly couldn't decide whether or not to be offended so he settled with sipping at the coffee instead, though he supposed he'd just proved Matt's point. He knew that by the time Matt left, or came back, he would be hungry. But until then...

Matt went back to his typing for a moment before he closed the lid and set the machine on the coffee table. He stretched, shirt ridding up to expose the pale skin of his stomach and Mello had to wonder if Matt had always been that pale, or if it was from years of staying indoors.

He couldn't remember.

Matt left the room and wandered off in the direction of their bedroom, presumably to fetch his wallet or something, when Mello heard a soft buzzing sound, like that of his phone. He wearily unfolded his aching legs and stumbled over the fallen blanket before setting the coffee mug onto the counter to pick his phone up, which had been on the kitchen counter.

The number on the screen only said unknown, which made him uneasy. There were only two people who knew his number, Matt and Jasper. The same applied to Matt's phone, only replacing himself as the other.

He let it ring one more time before he answered. He waited for the person to say something, as they had to have realized that the phone had been picked up, and he refused to be the one to say something first as a general rule of caution.

But all he could hear was soft breathing, something that bordered on laughter. He felt fear coil in his belly and harshly shut the phone as Matt walked into the kitchen.

"Something up?" Matt asked quizzically.

"Not really." he told him, though his own voice seemed too restricted for that to be true. He left the phone on the counter and picked up the mug to rinse it out in the sink, as though there was absolutely nothing wrong, as though his heart wasn't pounding uncomfortably hard in his chest.

He tried to appear as though it _was_ nothing... because it _could_ have been nothing. Though he knew he was just in denial. Too much had happened in his life for it not to have been _something_...

He glanced at Matt, who had that weary look in his eyes, that look that said he knew Mello was hiding something but didn't want to call him out on it. Mello wasn't sure what bothered him more. The fact that Matt could tell he was lying, or the fact that Matt let it go.

"I'll be back soon." Matt called to him, already heading for the door. Mello winced at the tone, which had been chipped and something that bordered on hurt. He opened his mouth to say something, but Matt had already walked out and closed the door after himself.

He dried his hand with a sigh and gently flopped back into the plush armchair the moment he reentered the living room.

His mind instantly attacked the phone call he'd just received. It could have been a wrong number, though that was highly doubtful as he person hadn't even said a word. A prank? There were people who did those sorts of things; however, their phones were protected against such things.

Or should have been.

All numbers that weren't programmed into the phone, or that they hadn't called, _should_ be filtered out. Matt had set it up himself, and he had all the faith in the redhead.

So what was it?

He didn't know how long he'd sat there mulling over what little information he had to go on, as he could only guess, before the door opened and Matt walked through with a large paper bag cradled in his arms.

Mello could just make out the tops of the foil wrapped subs and felt his stomach grumble.

Matt walked passed him without a word and he instantly felt guilt coil in his stomach. He knew it was his fault that Matt was acting more than slightly put off. And it meant that it had really gotten under the redheads skin as Matt rarely showed his irritation anymore; which again, Mello knew was his fault, as Matt never wanted to appear frustrated in front of him, even when Mello knew he had every right to.

He walked over to Matt, who was in the process of taking out the subs as well as a small container of red potato salad, and hesitantly, almost shyly, pulled him into a kiss. He felt Matt instantly relax against him and after a moment broke away.

"Thank you." he murmured, lips still hovering by Matt's mouth. He knew that Matt must wonder what had gotten into him, as the redhead never got that much affection from him in a week never mind that much in under two days, and hoped Matt wouldn't read too much into it.

Mello quickly shoved the rising guilt to the back of his mind as it wouldn't help the situation. He bit his lip and at the tiny smile Matt gave him, resolved to fix his issues as it wasn't fair to either of them.

He knew that if he were to pull those goggles away from Matt's eyes that he would see longing in them, and despite the fact that he moved away from him, Mello wanted nothing more than to stay close. But the slight feeling of anxiety, only occurring when he was too close to someone for longer than a few seconds, won out.

"Come on, let's eat." Matt said while he handed a sub to Mello as he brought his own and the red potato salad to the small kitchen table off to the corner.

There was silence as they ate, but for once Mello found that it wasn't entirely uncomfortable. He hoped that it could stay that way, even if only for a few more hours.

Matt cleared the table when they were finished as Mello fished a bottle of pomegranate blueberry juice from the refrigerator. He didn't usually drink juice, but every once and a while he got a craving for it. It was actually really good despite the odd flavor coupling.

He took the small bottle with him into the living room with him and turned on the television as Matt had gone back to his laptop. He wondered if Matt was working on a case or a hack job, as it certainly monopolized a lot of his time.

He could usually tell when Matt was working on something and when he was just playing around on his games, and something certainly had the gamer's attention for the past while. He sighed softly and seated himself on the other end of the couch and leaned back to get more comfortable.

There was nothing on to watch, that or his mind was simply not in a state to find the entirely too predictable movies and daytime dramas worth it. He wondered if he should pick up another case...

It had been a while since he'd had anything of the sort to do, though he was at fault for that. He just hadn't been in the right state of mind, far too absorbed in himself, to deal with murders and the like; and simple thefts had never held his attention.

He wondered if any case would be able to hold his attention long enough for him to finish it... so perhaps it was simply easier not to do anything. But that, once again, left him feeling antsy and useless.

Never had he felt the need to do absolutely nothing and yet everything at the same time. He knew that it was only a matter of time before it all built up too much and he would be forced to choose something or drive himself crazy from sheer boredom.

But the fact that he even felt the need, the desire, to do something more than he was, was a good sign. For far too long had he been stuck in a kind of limbo, living but not really living at the same time.

He supposed the start of his anxious behavior had been months ago when he had broken his self imposed shut in and gone to the store with Matt. Though it had taken entirely too long, in his opinion, to get even that far.

He sighed and he watched idly as someone's supposedly long dead sister shot her ex-boyfriend in the back on the soap that had come on. He rolled his eyes irritably at the complete absurdity of it. Real life was so much more interesting and horrible than anything on television could possibly come up with.

Though that merely reminded him of his near celebrity status. Mostly everyone knew what he looked like because of the broadcasts, though it was still under large speculation whether or not he had actually survived. It had been reported he had died, due to L's interference in the matter, though he knew that most people had reservations about that announcement.

And rightly so, as he was quite well and alive.

"Mello." he turned to Matt who had called him.

"You've been staring unblinking at the TV for the last ten minutes." Matt didn't sound annoyed, or even really concerned, as much as mildly curious. He could also pick out the second question that hadn't been voiced. _Is there something on your mind? _Though he knew Matt didn't expect an answer.

"Just... thinking." he stated and though Matt's eyebrows had risen, he hadn't commented any further.

"If you're bored you can go over the case I finished yesterday and see if I missed anything." Matt said and though he no longer was looking at him Mello knew all his attention was still on him.

Matt always asked him that same question, and yet he never took him up on the offer. He knew Matt didn't actually have any need of the help, but it seemed that Matt knew he was bored, as he always asked regardless of the answer he received.

"Did you send it to my e-mail?" his question caused Matt to look at him again, and he knew Matt hadn't expected the question.

"No, but by the time you get your laptop it will be there."

He took the hint for what it was and wandered back into the bedroom to grab his laptop which was generally unused these days. He wondered if Matt could sense it, as he could, that something was changing...

It was a bit harder to type using only one hand, and he was rather clumsy at it, but not enough that it slowed him too much. As he read over the documents he knew he'd been right, that Matt hadn't really needed his help, but it had given him something to do other than stare haplessly at the television.

He read over Matt's notes on the case and noticed that they approached the crimes in different ways, as they generally had never really worked on cases together, and yet still came about the same answers, just in a different amount of time.

When Matt applied himself, he was brilliant.

The problem was that Matt had no real motivation concerning things, never had; though Mello had to wonder if he'd been the start of that as Matt _had _hidden the true extent of his capabilities while at Wammys.

He pushed those thoughts away, as they really didn't matter anymore, and continued to read the rest of the case file to make sure he had missed nothing. And once he was satisfied that everything was in order he meticulously wrote out his thoughts on the case and the places Matt could have gone in more detail for the authorities. He had a feeling that had merely been pure laziness on Matt's part.

He felt slightly less stir crazy, though he had no desire to actually leave the flat, as he finished things and sent them to Matt. It had taken just enough of his attention to ease things. He stretched slightly and shifted his position on the couch ever so slightly but stilled as he saw Matt pause in his typing.

He knew Matt would be looking over the e-mail he'd sent him and was rewarded with a large grin a few minutes later. "I think I'll use some of that in my report to them. You certainly haven't gotten rusty."

He almost smiled at that. It was good to know that his mind hadn't dulled despite the perpetual nothing he'd been doing the last two years.

"Mello why don't you go take a shower while I get started on dinner." Matt suggested while he saved whatever he'd been working on and closed the laptop. Mello blinked and titled his head to the side in question, though he realized that he didn't do that all that often anymore.

He didn't _do_ a lot of things anymore. His expression darkened for a moment at the thought.

"You made dinner last night so I believe it's my turn." Matt told him as he shifted onto his feet and gently took the laptop from Mello's lap to rest it on the coffee table. Mello had to wonder if cooking dinner wasn't more of a 'thank you' for the past few peaceful days.

He knew he was generally unpleasant to live with, and more screwed up in the head than usual, but Matt had never even suggested living elsewhere or taking a break from him. And it was rare for so many days to pass without him getting into one of his 'moods' as Matt had put it once, back in the early days.

"Alright. Just don't make pasta again, I've had enough of that for a while." though that was mainly his own fault as it was generally an easy meal, and Matt seemed to understand if the small, yet stifled, laugh was anything to go by.

He heaved himself from the couch, ignoring the way Matt had flinched in his direction for an instant to help him, and walked to the bedroom to nab a spare change of clothes. Though they were nothing more than boxers, sweatpants and a t-shirt.

He only wore leather if he was going out for something, as if was a bit difficult getting into it with only one hand...

He sighed quietly and closed the bathroom door with a kick of his foot. He dropped the clothes onto the counter and turned the water on. He stepped under the water and let his hair get wet.

He knew things could have been worse; he could have lost a leg, or even his entire arm rather than just his hand. But most of the time it seemed that he dwelled on what he lacked rather than what he had.

Though those times were getting less frequent as time went by. It just seemed to take too long for it to happen though.

He squirted shampoo into his hair and was glad that I had long since been cut back to its previous length, though the locks were still jagged and in no semblance of a straight line.

He quickly finished washing himself and stepped out onto the black bathroom mat, dripping wet. He toweled himself as dry as he could, though his hair still dripped slightly, the small beads of water left to slide down his body.

He moved his hand across the fogged mirror until his body became visible. He stared, searchingly, at the scars and the burns, of those that he could immediately see, that littered his torso.

How the hell could Matt stand to look at those?

Every time he allowed Matt in the shower with him, or he was caught shirtless Matt's eyes were always trained on him, though the redhead's expression never gave away his thoughts during those moments.

Mello had to wonder.... did Matt see him, or the scars...?

He tore his gaze from the mirror and began to dress himself. He doubted he would ever ask... and if he did... would he be able to live with the answer?

**-End _Call_-**

**AN:** so there we have the first chapter. And an emo wreck Mello. Just a hint of plot... but don't worry next chapter should have a larger dose.

ok the morning after (wow that's never a good way to start ^_^) I posted the prologue I opened my inbox and was like 'damn only 3 reviews?!!!' but then I remembered that TSP was A: new, B: Not Choices; and C: part of the WSF series (which has NEVER gotten a lot of reviews)

So then I was like ok I was spoiled....

Hahaha this story will NEVER compare to Choices so I got over it, and this will probably be lucky to see 100 reviews. But I don't mind, despite the fact that I find this my favorite in the series (perhaps because I wrap things up?)

Then throughout the day the reviews went up to 9 for the prologue and I was super happy. (as WSF only had 3 total. heh)

So I wanted to say thank you. Despite the fact that I'm a spoiled b***h, I do love whatever reviews you guys want to give me.

And despite this not being an award winning fic like Choices, I hope you like it. (I think i'm only writing this because there's drama going on in my house -_-;)

As for other things...... I have two possible upcoming fics (one in the works at the moment, and one planned) that may just live up to, and possibly surpass, Choices. POSSIBLY. It really depends on you guys, and what you think of them.

I will tell you that the 2nd fic (which I came up with while BORED OUT OF MY MIND at work) if WAY out of my comfort zone, as it deals with virtual reality, so it will be interesting to write once I get to it.

And now you can see why I put this at the end... heh. Sorry for stealing your time. ;/

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Rin, foreverunloved, jrenee07, critter141151, M, Yaoiluver190, Aaa, Lellozawa, sareyva

_Review_???


	3. Chapter 2: Confession

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note.

**AN**: Sorry this is late, I had to work on Sunday to get more experience with WIC (anyone who knows what that is KNOWS it's a pain in the ass) though the funny thing is not one came through my line, realllllllly helpful.

Thank you fro so many reviews!!!!!

_**Order of the series**_

-Dangerous and Moving (3 shot prequel)

-We Sleep Forever (start of series)

-Not An Angel (sequel)

-Je Ne Regrette Rien (sequel 2)

-The Silent Place ~Final fic~ (set 2 years after JNRR)

**Suggested Listening**: Blind **by **Ke$ha

**Chapter Two: **_Confession _

Mello took another small glance back at Matt, who still typed furiously away at the laptops keyboard, and with an inaudible sigh disappeared into the bedroom.

Matt had made some meat dish for dinner, the name of which escaped his memory, but things had gone slightly sour after Matt had mentioned getting back in touch with L. He knew Matt hadn't meant anything by it, but just the thought of L had him on edge.

Too many things he could have accomplished but wasn't able to, and all of them attached to the letter L.

Matt had noticed the mood change immediately and had grown silent. That had been hours ago. And Mello had finally grown tired of the atmosphere he'd accidently created. Some things just... set him off.

Though not in his usual outburst sort of way, though they'd had their fair share of rows over his moodiness despite Matt's attempt at remaining calm; he tended to get exceedingly quiet and if the memory he'd been reminded of was bad enough, skittish.

He'd slept on the couch more times than he could remember.

Though for the most part, nowadays, he was alright. With the exception of certain things. L being one of them. Which was why when they'd cut off communications with the elder detective he'd thought it had been the end of it.

He curled up under the heavy covers of the bed, though he knew sleep would be a long time coming, if at all that night. He couldn't figure why Matt would need, or want, to call L. As far as he knew Matt wasn't stuck on any cases or in need of any help. Matt had him, and would have asked him, if there was something he'd needed.

Right?

He sighed softly and buried his face in the pillow with eyes clenched tightly. He pushed all traitorous thoughts to the back of his mind, knowing that if he allowed himself to dwell on it things would only seem much worse than they actually were.

Sometime later, he wasn't sure how long, his phone began to vibrate and make an obscene amount of noise in the too quite flat. Blue eyes blinked blurrily, filled with sleep, and his hand fumbled almost blindly around the nightstand for the phone.

It ended up being knocked to the floor but he was far too tired to care as the vibrations were muffled by the carpet. Whoever it was could wait until morning...

And by the time morning came, at around five-thirty, Mello was more than weary about glancing at the contents of his messages. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and bent down to grab the phone, without actually having gotten up.

With the cover flipped open he scanned his missed calls and was affronted with the same unknown number from the day before; no message had been left for him. He idly wondered what the odds were of two, unrelated, unknown calls happening in such close succession.

The odds were not in his favor at all.

He turned to see that Matt was already up, though that should have been his first priority so as to not wake him, and hoped the redhead had gotten enough sleep as he hadn't been in bed in the middle of the night, or if he had slept at all.

Slipping the phone into a pocket Mello decided not to dress himself just yet, instead he wandered out to the kitchen in a t-shirt and sweatpants, though it would have just been more of the same.

He walked passed Matt, who typed away at the laptop, and into the kitchen where coffee had previously been made and the reminder awaited drinking. That settled it. Matt hadn't been to bed. If he had, that much coffee would not have been gone from the pot.

But be it far from Mello to comment, he supposed that when he himself could get a full nights rest more than one night in a row, then he might be able to argue on the harmful effects of lack of sleep.

With his coffee made, and in hand, he headed into the living room and sat by the windowsill; his tired blue eyes scanned the roads below before swiveling to the clouded sky above. Another day of rain then.

He started, pocket vibrating, and placed the coffee mug on the sill to retrieve the phone out of the confines of his pants. He answered it, this time forgoing the urge to keep silent, as it was plainly obvious that whomever it was would just continue to call.

"Hello?" he was answered with the same breathy half laughs and rolled his eyes in annoyance. He nearly dropped the phone however, at the whispered parting words before he was greeted with a dial tone.

He swallowed harshly and blinked a few times before he closed the lid. He could have _sworn_ that they had said Mello.

Matt, who up until that point had been typing, now looked up at him and Mello quickly turned his gaze back to the window and attempted to ignore the situation for a while longer. It quickly became apparent that Matt wouldn't let it go as his eyes had yet to remove themselves from his person and caused the sensation of bugs crawling across his skin to emerge.

Matt knew he _hated_ when people stared. Which was why he _always_ noticed it now.

With a frown he left the coffee where it was and stalked from the room and gently closed the bedroom door. It was more than obvious that any thoughts on the subject would have to be away from Matt.

After no small amount of struggling, and a few swears to top it off, he was encased in leather. He grabbed his sunglasses and jacket, forced his boots on, and wrenched open the front door when he was done.

"I'm going to the store." he told Matt and shut the door behind him before the redhead had a chance to speak. The only main problem with that statement, he realized after he was halfway down the street from their flat, was that he didn't have his carrying bag with him. He swore but wasn't about to go back just yet despite the fact that it was something Matt would have noticed.

He needed time to think, and Matt obviously hadn't about to give it to him. So if he had to lie to get out of the house, rather horribly at that, then so be it.

Despite the jacket he was chilled, unrightfully so, and decided that his best bet would be the coffee shop just a few streets down. The coffee shop was old and always packed with people, though very few actually sat down with their orders during the day.

It was warm inside, almost too warm with his heavy jacket on, but he didn't dare take it off. He pulled out his wallet while in line and managed to have the correct amount of money ready by the time he was at the register. He handed over the money and ordered himself a hot chocolate, having wanted one despite rarely drinking them, as well as a chocolate filled pastry.

He could see the looks of curiosity, poorly hidden, in the employees expression at his hidden face. He smiled wryly and wondered if they perhaps thought him someone famous attempting to stay hidden. Though Mello supposed he was a sort of celebrity. And damned if he didn't wish he weren't.

With a half smile he accepted his order and moved to the back of the shop, away from the windows, and sat down. He kept his head down and sipped the hot liquid as his mind went over the very few details he had in concerns to the phone calls.

Three of them so far... it could be just a prank. Though Mello was far from stupid and knew better than that. Both his and Matt's numbers were supposed to be known by only three people total. Themselves and Jasper.

Obviously that no longer applied.

Too much of the steaming liquid in his mouth at once nearly made him choke. The thought of keeping it all from Matt crossed his mind for a moment, but he instantly dismissed it.

He sighed and stroked the thick paper cup with his index finger. He knew he was no longer in any sort of condition to handle things on his own, at least not if they were dangerous. And if a mysterious caller knowing his alias, his _name_, wasn't something dangerous than he would willingly go be Near's servant.

He had to tell Matt. It wasn't as though Matt didn't know _something_ was going on anyway. And he would be stupid to think that Matt would just let the issue die. He silently finished the remainder of the hot chocolate and pastry before he tossed the cup into the rubbish bin on the way out.

Mello heard the shower going as he quietly stepped back into their flat and hung his coat up and put away the glasses in the meantime. He decided on leaving the leather on, as he liked the feel, and sat on the couch.

He wondered if all the waiting was some sort of punishment for even thinking of leaving Matt in the dark again. He absently touched the space on his chest where his rosary should have been and smiled grimly.

He'd been wearing it when he'd been capture those two years ago, it had disappeared along with the clothes he'd been wearing at the time and it had never been found. He had yet to get a replacement for it.

He wondered if he ever would.

The water slowed and stopped and a soft squeak of the pipes was heard as the dial was twisted to the off position. He heard the muffled curse as Matt, presumably, slid on the floor before he toweled himself dry and dressed.

Mello tensed instantly as he heard the door handle jiggle slightly and the door open. He was.. nervous... he couldn't explain why, but he was.

Matt was dressed in his usual stripes and his goggles were firmly in place though he could tell Matt was a little surprised to see him back so soon. "We need to talk." he managed to say and Matt nodded to him and walked over, having foregone the disposal of his dirty clothes.

"So, what's up?" Matt sat at the other end of the couch and lit up a cigarette.

"I assume you noticed my rather odd reactions to the phone calls I've received in the last few days?" he waited until Matt nodded before he continued. "They weren't from Jasper. And I think I heard my name being said the last time." he stated dryly.

Matt sat up and a slightly worried expression passed over his features before a huge grin replaced it. Mello was surprised, to say the least. What, in that entirely small conversation, had been amusing?

He flinched slightly as Matt's thumb came to stroke the scarred side of his face. "We'll deal with whatever comes up, I'm just happy you didn't leave me out of it this time."

"I'm not in a position to do so anymore." he said bitterly and only just managed to avoid looking at his missing hand. "And you already knew something was up." he added more softly.

"You can do a lot more than you give yourself credit for. And whatever the reason, I'm happy you included me." he almost expected Matt to pull him into a hug or kiss him and found himself almost disappointed that neither happened. But the look on Matt's face suggested he'd wanted to.

"Well as I know it wasn't me who called, or gave out your number, and though I doubt this as well, I think we need to call Jasper." Matt said and reached for something in his pocket that Mello assumed was his own phone.

"Do you think mine could be tapped now?" he questioned the redhead.

"You know... that honestly hadn't even occurred to me. But I suppose to stay on the relatively safe side, you shouldn't make any calls with yours. Maybe I'll take it apart later and check for any obvious tampering." Matt said and raised the phone to his ear after he'd dialed and placed it on speaker.

"And what do I owe the pleasure?" the older male grumbled into the phone with what sounded like a yawn.

"You haven't by any chance given away Mello's phone number, have you? Some unknown number keeps calling and it's doubtfully a wrong number after that many times." Matt asked, completely ignoring Jasper's warning tone.

"God, couldn't this have waited until later?" Jasper swore into the phone and the tell tail sounds of someone getting out of bed came from the other line.

Mello took a bit of pleasure in the fact that he hadn't been the only one to have his sleep interrupted, though the reasons were vastly different.

"I figured you'd have to ask that considering the circumstances but I didn't give out the number, I don't even have it written down." Jasper said, his voice just a small amount clearer.

Matt glanced at Mello and sighed. "You are just a trouble magnet aren't you?"

He felt guilt begin to claw its way back into his chest, as it was once _again_ him that was pulling them into a possibly disastrous situation. His body tensed again but he was slightly reassured that Matt wasn't angry, or even annoyed, when striped arms wound their way around him and pulled him gently against the redhead.

Mello figured that he was still in a peculiar mood as he buried his face in Matt's chest rather than pull away, though he most certainly still felt the urge to.

"Well let me know what's up and call me back at a more convenient hour." Jasper ended the call on his end and Matt shared an amused look with him as the dial tone sounded over the speakers.

"He certainly was in a mood wasn't he?" Matt commented sarcastically with a raised eyebrow. Mello shrugged a shoulder ever so slightly but otherwise didn't move.

"Assuming it isn't some sort of prank, though I don't know how they would be able to get a hold of your number in the first place or even get through, never mind know your name...." Mello glanced up as Matt trailed off, the fact that his fingers tapped slightly at his back showed he was lost in thought.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that this is going to lead into something dangerous for us. Usually in this sort of situation one would be asked for a list of people who may possibly want them dead, but I have a feeling that's a lost cause with you, right?" Matt began to stroke his hair when he didn't answer and despite himself, Mello found that he began to relax.

"Since the list is probably three feet long and in tiny print, can you narrow the list to people who would either gain a lot from your death, or someone with a larger than usual grudge?"

Mello bit his lip. "I could probably give you a one page list, but only of the people I know about." he hesitated slightly before continuing on. "I've had to murder a lot of people back with the mafia, not to mention put away people while as a detective."

"So we wait." Matt's hold on him tightened but for once Mello merely allowed himself to sink further in to the gentle embrace. Whatever happened, he knew Matt would be there beside him.

And maybe that was all he really needed.

There was still something that bothered him though, nagged at his tired mind, and forced him to stay awake despite the urge to just sleep within Matt's arms. He knew that there was a large probability that whatever was going on had to do with the mafia.

He knew he could rule out most of the actual members of the mafia, as they had no reason to go after him, and he'd left on mostly good terms with the new boss. He tried to remember, but some of the finer details, the faces of those he'd killed, had faded and dulled. It had simply been too many years for him to remember anything other than his own pain.

He gave a grim smile. His pain had always seemed greater than others. And perhaps that was why he was punished at every turn happiness might have shown up.

Perhaps it was what he deserved.

"Whatever you are thinking, stop." he looked up sharply at Matt who was staring at him, and probably had been staring at him the entire time.

"You're just doing our own head in, and it's not going to get us anywhere." Matt's voice was soft, just as soft as the kisses that followed, and for once, Mello simply allowed himself to enjoy the moment.

Something he'd denied himself for far too long.

**-End **_**Confession**_**-**

**AN: **Aww, right? Anyway.... Jasper made an appearance! W00t! Next chapter will be a flashback, just so everyone knows...... and it wont be hard to see why its there. And it will be short.....Oh well. *shrug*

Has anyone noticed that I've started saying rubbish bin? Wtf.

So what is everyone thinking of this so far?

**Special thanks to reviewers**: monki, toster, critter141151, foreverunloved, jinnabun, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Rin, Night-Huntress019, RainbowJapan, blood-stained-rag-doll, Salvi, sareyva, and Lellozawa _(perks head up at the mention of possible fanart..... ohhhhhhhhhhhhh)_

**Review**????


	4. Chapter 3: Slum

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or make money form Death Note.... if I did.... Matt and Mello would have made hot yaoi... yup...

**AN:** please dont hurt me for the length of this... heh.

**Suggested Listening**: Touching and Kissing **by** Cinema Bizzare

**Chapter Three:** _Slum_

_~9 years and some odd months ago~ _

The blonde crushed the chocolate in his hands and glared menacingly at anyone and anything that passed him in the hallways. A year. Already one fucking _year_ since he'd been there and he was still nothing more than their plaything, a _whore_, and not one step closer to finding Matt.

His glare deepened at the obvious leers from the men he passed. Lecherous fuckers....

The looks they gave him made his skin crawl and his stomach churn uneasily. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to sit and eat an entire meal without being sick. It didn't help that they found it amusing to serve foods that held liking to a certain part of the male anatomy.

The wrapper in his hand crinkled again as his fist was pulled even tighter.

His steps quickened until he heard voices speaking slightly raised inside of a not quite closed doorway. He glanced down each end of the hallway and saw no one; he pressed close to the door and was able to just make out what was being said.

"Why do you feel the need to keep him in his current position, he's done more than enough to rise in the ranks." the first voice belonged to the Don, a slightly cruel and aging man with a raspy voice.

"I will give you that he's smart, and could probably rise far. But maybe that's the problem. Give him some slack and he'll take over. I say you keep him around the same position he's at. He's smart, but not smart enough to realize that you won't let him go any further." the second voice, the one that made Mello's blood boil, belong to Anderson Carlyle.

He was a generally unpleasant man with slicked back hair who walked in such a way that suggested he owned the place, that he was better and believed he carried more power than the Don himself.

Everyone hated him for one reason or another. But this... Mello couldn't forgive this.

He didn't wait to hear the rest of the conversation. He didn't care to hear it. His fingers curled around the rosary that swung from his neck as he walked. "That bastard!" he seethed quietly. Anderson was the reason he hadn't rose in the ranks _at all_.

Anderson was the reason most of the fucking mafia was still allowed to have their slimy _disgusting _hands all over him.

Anderson was the reason he wasn't getting _any_ closer to his goals.

Anderson had to go.

Never before had such a cold rage filled Mello. Never before had he literally wanted to kill someone with his bare hands. That man was allowed to come and go as he pleased while Mello himself had to be escorted everywhere as though he were a criminal amidst the criminals.

Anderson was the reason he was woken up at least once a night for a quick fuck. And what was worse, Anderson was partially correct about something.

But it wasn't that he wasn't smart enough to notice, he'd been too naive. But never again. His fingers clenched the beads and the chocolate tighter still and he grit his teeth. From then on he would assume that any promises would be broken, that any reassurances were false.

He had never completely trusted the Don; he would have been an idiot not to. But the small amount of trust that had accumulated was shattered, and Mello knew that it would never rebuild. But he wasn't sorry. Not in the slightest.

He made his way to his room and locked the door behind him. He needed to plan.

He paced the room thrice over before an idea came to him. Recently there had been talk of a rat, a traitor, in their midst. Of leaks in their information network.

If he could somehow point them in Anderson's direction, make him out to be the rat...

That bastard would get what he deserved, and Mello would enjoy every second of it.

If anyone had seen Mello's grin at that moment, and the manic look in his eyes, they would have been terrified.

**-End _Slum_- **

**AN:** Oh... some of Mello mafia past is revealed. I bet everyone has been dying for more details since WSF, right? Well I have more little snippets planned for the fic, so you may just get to find out some interesting things.....

Question..... does anyone feel even remotely sorry for Anderson?

**Special thanks to those who reviewed: **foreverunloved, Rin, sareyva, RainbowJapan, Night-Huntress019, critter141151, Lellozawa, blood-stained-rag-doll, Kuss Mich, Ash 

**Review**?


	5. Chapter 4: Meeting

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**AN: **Randomly…… And for the shorter chapters I usually wait 10 reviews or three days and the normal length is 20 reviews or a week. I do this since I need time to write my new fics, and since I'm pressed for time now (yay for more work days… not!) I'm not able to write as many chapters during the week. (I used to be able to get around 3, now I'm barely making 2, sometimes only 1)

I like to start posting my fics once they are completed or almost so, though with Choices I started posting at like chapter 4. *headdesk*

**Replies:**

**RainbowJapan: Um**.. my creativity really kinda spawns out of nowhere really. I mean i could be listening to something and suddenly I have a fic idea despite the song having nothing to do with it.. heh. I'm just lucky sometimes.

**Lellozawa**: Heh. Well before his hand got infected (in JNRR epilogue) he was missing 3 fingers... ( left middle, ring and index) but in the epilogue he lost his entire hand. So yeah... in TSP he's missing his left hand. Completely. :)

And no I'm not getting sick of your reviews! I love reviews, especially when people taunt me with possible fanart. :)

**Suggested Listening**: Marked **by** Seasons After

**Chapter Four:** Meeting

Mello sighed as he looked away from the phone in his lap and over at the glowering redhead across the room. He rolled his eyes as he punched the numbers into Matt's phone, his having decidedly been put out of commission.

Matt was upset, and he supposed rightfully so, over the fact that he was calling Takahashi Hiko. They'd gotten into a nice argument over it, as Matt had not so kindly pointed out that whenever Mello called him it usually resulted in 'favors' being done for the man.

He had tried to reassure Matt that he was asking for this information as a personal favor to him, and that if Takahashi required something from him to get it then he wouldn't do it. Not this time.

As he pulled the phone up to his ear Matt sat down, and from what he could see, rather irritably, by his side. He leaned slightly closer to Matt and was greeted with an amused snort of irritation, but the redhead hadn't moved away, and that was the only reason Mello knew Matt wasn't truly angry.

His eyebrows knitted in confusion as the phone kept ringing, usually someone would have picked up, and after nearly eleven rings the phone cut out and he was left with nothing more than a dial tone.

In Takahashi's business it was prudent to have the phone answered at all times, otherwise deals would be lost as well as important people being pissed off. He pursed his lips together and looked at Matt.

"There is something wrong, no one picked up. And as this phone wouldn't be registered, as so many of their client's phones, it doesn't make sense. But I believe this proves that there is definitely a tie to the mafia."

It was too much of a coincidence for him to have gotten those strange phone calls and then when he tried to contact his only remaining mafia connection, it went unanswered. Mello knew what he needed to do… he knew he needed to head back. That even if they stayed where they were, things would eventually catch up to them. That no matter where they ran, they would be found, if they hadn't already.

He kept his gaze on the coffee table and let his mind wander. It wandered to a time that was so far from his normal now... back when he first met Takahashi Hiko.

-

_Mello glowered and sneered at the snickers he received from the other men in the car. He narrowed his eyes and tore his gaze from them and stared stubbornly out the window to watch the scenery speed by. _

_He puffed up his cheeks in irritation. _

_They were about to do business with a new client, another family, supposedly from China or something, as they had important connections. He had been brought over as a 'gift' for whoever wanted to use him for the week. That and Mello supposed a boat load of money for negotiations._

_He had never felt so degraded, like a cheap whore, but with Anderson out of the picture, and the Don's ailing mind freed from that sharks control, Mello knew that he would be allowed to rise up should he be 'pleasing' in any and all dealings he had, sexual or otherwise. _

_He hated it with every fiber of his being. But this was something big apparently. A huge accomplishment should the deal go over well. But that didn't mean he had to like it at all._

_They soon exited their cars and were taken into the building through the alleyway entrance and crossed through the kitchens until they were walking down a long hallway where a pair of thick doors stood tall and looming. _

"_Stay here, and don't move a muscle. Got it?" one of the men asked him, he was one of the nicer ones, but still far from not being an asshole. He nodded his head, as that required movement and was satisfied as the man frowned at him before entering the room with the others and the doors closed behind them._

_Mello immediately relaxed his stance and leaned casually up against the wall across from the meeting, so that if he were being watched he wouldn't be accused of listening in, as that would have gotten him into a fair amount of trouble._

_He let his mind wander and his eyes swiveled around to glance at all the gold that adorned the hallways trim, or at least gold paint. There was a large tapestry of a dragon as well as a table off to the corner with an expensive looking vase on it. It too was decorated with what appeared to be dragons. _

_He was slightly startled not even five minutes later, as a girl, who looked to be a few years younger than he, ran around the corner only to be quickly pinned against the wall; a hand going across her mouth to keep her silent. _

"_You're father can't save you now.." the man hissed angrily; he had Asian features and Mello wondered if he worked there. Though he supposed it didn't matter much. He almost thought about ignoring the situation, at least until the man's hands seemed to travel lower on the girl's body._

"_Hey what the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted as loud as he could, startling the man, as he ran towards them. He knew it would draw the attention of those who were in the meeting, and he was proven right only seconds later as the doors swung open behind him. _

_The man dropped the girl, who crumpled to the ground, and took off down the hallway, with what Mello assumed were Takahashi's guards chasing after him. Spitefully, Mello hoped they shot him in the crotch._

_He knelt down beside the frightened girl, who had tears filling her large brown eyes, and held out his hand for her. She hesitated and he gave her a small smile; she seemed to relax a bit and took his hand._

_The moment she was on her feet she hugged him, latching onto his waist in a vice-like grip and he couldn't help the heat that rose to his face. "Hey, there's no need for that!" he urged almost silently. She only clung tighter and he had no idea what to do. _

_He heard a deep, but soothing, laughter and looked up to see a tall Asian man in a very tidy business suit. And from the looks of respect, and sometimes fear, he assumed that man was Takahashi._

"_What is your name boy?" he asked in amusement, his accent very much as Asian as he looked._

_Mello wasn't usually one to be intimidated, but was more than a little distracted by the uncomfortable feeling of the girls arms around him. So much so that he nearly blurted out his real name. _

"_Mi...ah.. Michael." he knew he had drawn the attention of those who had brought him there, as they knew him only by Mello. And with some sort of pleasure he hoped they thought it was his actual name, though it was a might too close for his liking. _

"_Well then, Michael. Thank you for helping my daughter." and Mello knew, at that moment, that he would be able to make deals with that man..._

-

"Mello?" he looked up from the coffee table as Matt called his voice softly.

"You went somewhere for a moment, you all back now?" Matt asked him. He nodded. "Just remembering how I met Takahashi." he muttered before he hauled himself from the couch. He heard Matt's slight intake of breath and realized what the redhead must have thought.

"Not like that. It was never like that with Takahashi." despite the things he'd had to do as payment for the man at times, though never with the man himself, he'd grown to like Takahashi in a way. The man had protected him and helped to convince his Don that Mello was more than smart enough to do things other than be a whore.

Though he didn't say any of those things to Matt. Instead, he headed to the kitchen to fish out more chocolate. He didn't have any hidden on him at the moment and really had a craving. He heard Matt stand and follow him, though he didn't particularly care much.

He grabbed a bar from the cabinet and unwrapped the foil; as he sank his teeth into the confection he spied Matt leaning against the counter. "So what's the plan Mello? I know you are working on something in that mind of yours." Matt lit a cigarette and he felt his lips twitch, though he didn't smile at the other.

"I'm going back to New York. Things may have started in L.A. But Takahashi is in New York." He watched as Matt bowed his head.

"Don't you mean 'we' are going to New York?"

"Only if you want to." he breathed out slowly.

"When do _we_ leave." Matt asked. Mello felt some of the tension drain from himself as Matt stressed 'we'. He was glad Matt would be coming with him. He would have left him there, had he not wanted to go, to settle his past by himself. And despite not wanting to expose Matt to any more of that world, he was relieved that he wouldn't have to go alone.

"Sometime soon, you work out the details. We can crash at Jasper's for a night or two after we arrive." he said thoughtfully. Matt hummed in agreement.

"Jasper would be pissed if we didn't visit him, despite the circumstances, while we are there." he snorted at Matt's comment, as he knew all too well that it was true.

"Matt.... do you think it will ever be over?" he questioned. The small moment of amusement had passed and now the weight of the situation hit his mind like a ton of bricks. It seemed that it was only one bad thing after another, constantly.

"Isn't that why we're going back, to finish things?" Matt asked gently. He saw Matt reach out towards him but sidestepped the touch. He didn't want the comfort... it was making him weak. And that was the one thing he couldn't afford to be during this, especially as he was at a disadvantage already.

"Don't shut me out Mihael, not when you finally started to open up again." Matt whispered and grabbed at his arm as he tried to pass. Matt's grip on his arm was weak at best, and he knew he could easily wrench it away.

His fist clenched and he narrowed his eyes. He knew that if he pulled away now, that there would be no more chances, and Matt would probably keep his distance for a good while, or until he worked up the courage to apologize to the redhead. Though the latter, Mello knew, would be unlikely.

He couldn't do that to Matt. Not after everything his boyfriend had done for him... and he didn't want Matt to keep his distance. He just didn't want to slip up because he was too soft...

He dropped his gaze to the floor, closed his eyes and took a step backwards.

"Thank you." Matt's voice was just above a whisper, as though he believed if he spoke any louder the moment would be broken and he would step away again. Matt didn't move any closer, and he didn't move any further away; not for a long while.

"I should start on dinner...." Mello mumbled some time later, though he didn't actually move until Matt's hand had dropped from his arm.

"I'll book us some tickets." Matt said and left the kitchen. Mello sighed. That had been... awkward. Though not unpleasant, just awkward. He loved Matt, he really did... he just couldn't seem to express it anymore.

And sometimes... it almost didn't feel worth it. And he hated the times he felt like that.

He shook his head and opened the cabinet to shift through what could be eaten that didn't take much preparation or cook time. He eventually found two packages of vegetables in the freezer as well as frozen chicken and decided on a vegetable stir fry.

He popped the chicken into the microwave and set it to thaw while he tossed the vegetables into a pan, though he didn't start to cook it. He spotted a left over package of rice, though he couldn't remember the last time he'd bought the minute kind, and thought it might go well with the stir fry.

Matt had sat down at the kitchen table, just watching him, around the time he'd added the thawed and diced chicken to the slightly less frozen vegetables; the rice cooking in the microwave.

He felt a small smile tug at his lips. Matt didn't even move to help him, and he appreciated it.

Nearly twenty minutes later they both sat, silently, at the table to eat the finished meal. It wasn't the best thing he'd ever made, but he hadn't felt the need to put much effort into the food as there were other more important things to do.

"Our flight leaves at ten AM tomorrow." Matt commented around his last bite of rice. Mello looked up sharply. He honestly hadn't expected Matt to book one so soon. He supposed that Matt was probably just as anxious to get everything over and done with so they could try and move on.

It hadn't directly affected them yet, other than the phone calls and the mystery of Takahashi's silence, but they both knew that it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down around them. It always did.

"We'll need to get packed before tomorrow then." Mello stood, all intending to clean up, somewhat, when Matt took the plate from him with a smile.

"Thank you for dinner."

Mello didn't complain as he knew it was difficult to do dishes, as they didn't have a dishwasher. So everything was done by hand, and no matter what he tried, the dishes just never came out quite clean enough with only one hand.

But he didn't dwell on it; instead he quickly cleaned the counters before heading into the bedroom to pull a duffle bag out of the closet and a suitcase out from under the bed. He had just placed a pile of his clothes onto the bed and watched with irritation, after he took a shirt off the top, as the pile teetered precariously for a moment before toppling to the floor.

He narrowed his eyes and swore quietly as he eyed the mess of, now unfolded, clothes.

Matt chose that moment to walk in and rose an eyebrow at him to which he frowned. He picked up his clothes and set to work on meticulously refolding them and placing them inside the suitcase.

"Are we coming back here?" Matt asked as he set his own suitcase on the bed. Mello paused in his folding. Would they be...?

"I don't honestly know. Take everything that you immediately need, things that you can't replace, and if we can't come back we can just buy new stuff." Mello smiled, a warmth spreading throughout his being, as Matt immediately placed his gameboy and accompanying cartridges inside a side pocket of his own duffle bag.

It was the gameboy that he'd given to him not too long ago. Matt looked up and gave him a smile in return, seemingly knowing what it was all about. He placed another shirt inside the suitcase when Matt walked around the bed and nudged his side slightly.

Mello pursed his lips but conceded to let Matt quickly finish refolding the messy clothes for him, as he took longer. He didn't mind too much. He cooked better than he folded anyway. He had never really had to wear clothes that required folding, and even after two years he still sucked at it.

Instead he concentrated on gathering all the other odds and ends that he, and if he spotted it, Matt would need for the trip. He didn't know how long they would be gone, and as he told Matt, if they would be coming back, so it was imperative they took anything of importance.

The time in which they packed was spent in silence; it wasn't as though they really had anything other then what they would do when they got to New York to talk about. Mello yawned for the fourth time within a five minute span and knew it was time to attempt sleep as soon as the bags were moved from the bed.

Matt took the hint, after he'd taken his duffle bag and moved it to the living room, and zipped up the two suitcases and moved them. Mello took the last duffle bag, which was heavy with whatever Matt had put in it, and carefully added it with the rest. Knowing Matt, it probably had some sort of electronic equipment.

Matt had begun to rifle through one of the cabinets in the kitchen so Mello took the time to wash up. Though he didn't take as long as he usually did as he was honestly too tired by the days events to really care.

He striped himself down to boxers only, as he didn't feel the need to put forth the effort to throw on another pair of sweatpants and t-shirt. He turned the bedroom light off as he held no clue when Matt would join him, if at all if he were still working on something.

His eyes had just begun to droop when he felt the bed dip ever so slightly. He still lay in the middle of the bed so Matt wouldn't have had much room, but an arm snaked it way around his front as he began to slide away.

His breath caught in his throat as the redheads fingertips brushed lightly across his hip, just over a scar caused by a deep knife gash. All his muscles tensed and he jerked away from the touch, heart pounding at the memory the touch had invoked.

He heard Matt sigh softly but didn't even think of scooting back over to the middle. He instead stayed to his edge of the bed, the left side of the bed, closest to the door.

The tense silence that enveloped the room ensured that, despite his tired nature, Mello would not be falling asleep any time soon. In fact, Mello doubted that Matt would be either. He hadn't meant to hurt the redhead, as he knew he had, but he didn't like to be touched sometimes.

He had gotten better, as the first few months back had been hell for the both of them, but he knew he still had a long way to go. He missed Matt's touch.... and yet at the same time, he despised it.

It would be a long night indeed.

_**-End Meeting-**_

**AN**: Yay for angsty mello and more mafia days? Perhaps some more plot next chapter? I'll just say that chapter 6 is my fav. :)

**Special thanks to reviewers!**: blood-stained-rag-doll, Rin, Lellozawa, Miss-Dreev, Emo-Nerdy-Insane-Writer, Ash, critter141151, RainbowJapan, Raisel, Ironytoday

**Review??? **

……**.. or I kill someone…. Bwahahah.**


	6. Chapter 5: Crash

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**AN**: Eh..... yay next chapter is one of my favorites in the fic..... heh. This one is.... well its necessary....

**Suggested Listening**: Calling **by** Oda Kaori**;** Secrets and Lies **by** Institute

**Chapter Five:** Crash

When Mello woke his time had been spent making coffee and tidying up what little mess they had created, all in a poor attempt to burn off his sleepless jittery energy. That had been around five.

Now, at nearly eight in the morning, his nerves felt as though someone had taken a hot poker to them. He had been able to distance himself from the actual thought of being in an airport again, as before the flight details had simply been words.

Now however, where he could hardly hide his face least he be mistaken for a terrorist, he was being checked through security, Matt behind him, and he was less than pleased. In fact, if he were to ever admit to it, he was nervous as hell and more than a little jumpy. He was far too exposed and he hated it.

Sure, he had been on a few airplanes in the last two years, but they had been L's private ones, before he'd broken contact with the detective, and had not required them to be around a bunch of people or in an airport.

"Mello, stop glaring." he jerked slightly at Matt's hand on his shoulder, but allowed the contact as it distracted him from his thoughts. He hated airports now. Though he thought, with a slightly rye smile, Matt did as well.

Though they had slightly different reasons for it this time.

He sighed and walked beside Matt as they shuffled through the crowds of people and passed the restaurants and stores. They quickly made notice of where their gate was, and after some prodding on Matt's part, went to find something to eat.

Mello smiled grimly at the sight of a Starbucks, and glowered at the people who stared at him. He heard Matt sigh beside him and made a slight effort not to cause trouble. The last thing they needed was to be detained by airport authorities. Especially as Mello was practically a celebrity.

He _hated_ it.

Matt had them stop at some small sub place and they ate there, though Mello hadn't really paid all that much attention to it all, as he was too tense to do so. He hated feeling so damn weak. Hated that he watched all the corners of the room from behind his sunglasses, and hated how messed up his mind had truly become.

He was alright, save for the new potential threat, and yet he acted as though the Organization still nipped at his heals at every turn. He really hated airports. Perhaps just hated large crowds of people in general...

"We need to go. We'll be boarding soon. "

Mello got up and followed Matt to their gate. It had been a good thing they had arrived early at the airport as getting through security had been absolute hell. It seemed like everybody and their mother was flying and the line had been huge.

That and it seemed like every other person was being stopped for something amiss in their luggage, though half of them were merely items that had been mashed together to look like a screwdriver or something else you weren't suppose to have.

"Have a nice flight!" one of the stewardesses exclaimed to him as she took his boarding pass and handed him back the other half. He had nearly snarled at her as Matt dragged him away. He knew he was being utterly ridiculous, but that didn't stop him from feeling the way he did. Matt had thankfully made sure that they had all three seats in the row, so it was only them. Mello took the window seat and Matt took the aisle seat leaving the empty one between them.

Somehow, Mello felt that was a quite accurate description of their relationship at the moment. Both of them together, but a deep chasm between. He moodily slammed the shade down on the window and after fastening his seatbelt, really not wanting to have to deal with 'sir can you please fasten your seat belt' anytime soon, and closed his eyes.

He heard Matt sigh again and curled closer to the window. It was going to be a _very long _flight. Despite his closed eyes, and the eventual leveling out of the plane, Mello was unable to fall asleep for the longest of time. Though it could have been because of all of the noise, suspicious sounds, and annoyingly loud children.

Or it was just his usual sleeplessness and the fact that it was daytime.

He stiffened when Matt settled himself in the seat next to him and cautiously touched his left arm gently. "What's got you so agitated? Despite being in a flying tin can, you're safe, spare hijackers." Matt whispered to him, mouth almost pressed to his ear.

He shivered and despite his aggravated mood, felt his lips quirk ever so slightly at Matt's attempt at disarming humor. To his credit, it _had_ worked slightly. "You know damn well why I'm agitated." he hissed, though it lacked the intended bite.

"I know." he was a bit confused at Matt's words, as he'd expected the redhead to attempt to speak logic to him, explain why he shouldn't be acting this way, and yet... nothing. For some reason, that exclamation placated him.

"Try and sleep?" Matt's voice was soft and bordered on pleading. So Matt had noticed the utter lack of sleep he'd gotten the night before. He sighed and attempted to curl back into his previous position but Matt's tenuous grip on his left arm became firm and a gentle tug in the other direction indicated he wouldn't be allowed to simply close his eyes and pretend.

He bit his lip and with half his body tensed, rested his head on Matt's shoulder. The slight jump assured him that Matt had not expected that, and he smiled slightly to himself. And despite all his earlier misgivings Mello found himself drifting off, and didn't register another thing until the plane was landing however many hours later.

He frowned. He hated letting himself get to such a state where he would sleep in a room full of strangers. It was never a good idea, from a safety standpoint.

The second the plane had slowed on the runway he'd unbuckled his seatbelt despite the urging from the stewardesses to keep them fastened. No one really listened. Including Matt. Matt had booked them tickets closest to the front without being first class, as that generally drew too much attention to people, so when everyone was finally cleared to leave the plane they were able to quickly leave and head for baggage with minimal wait.

It occurred to Mello, as they walked out into the airport terminal, that they had no one waiting for them there. Which either meant obtaining a taxi or another mode of transportation for themselves. He opened his mouth to comment on it when Matt smiled at him, stilling his words.

"Finally noticed have you? I made arrangements back at the apartment for a car to be ready for pickup when we got here." Matt took his moment of slight shock to steal a quick kiss. He hadn't had the time to tense, as he honestly hadn't expected the action and at the same time couldn't bring himself to be irritated with the redhead.

"Well since you have that all settled, you can drive us to Takahashi's place first." though Mello was rather miffed at himself for such an oversight that Matt had taken care of, his mind had already moved onto the next set of problems. Takahashi needed to be visited first and foremost, even before they found lodgings for the night be it at Jasper's or otherwise. There was just something about the entire situation that had him on edge but he just couldn't pinpoint it.

And despite the acute feeling of being watched, he forced himself to ignore it. They were in an airport and would be watched. It was only later, when they were on their own, that if he still felt it should he set aside time to worry.

For now... they simply had to get their baggage.

Mello had wished that everything could have fit in their carryons, but had known that was an impossibility the moment he'd first taken out the duffle bag to pack. There was simply too much that the both of them had needed to pack.

He grabbed at his bag as he saw the bright orange tag on it and sighed in irritation as Matt's bag, his tag being blue, passed by him. One hand, one bag. He saw the striped arm reach out and retrieve it before it could go around the carousel again. Now was not the time for his bitter thoughts.

"We have to walk a small bit to the car rental place. Give me your suitcase." Mello had thought about arguing with Matt, but by the tone of the redhead's voice, he wouldn't have won at the moment.

Matt, it seemed, had no problem letting him get his way more often than not, but every once and a while, making him sleep on the plane case and point, he put his foot down and would not budge.

Mello was too tired to really care at that point. If Matt wanted to drag two heavy ass suitcases as well as a duffle bag, who was Mello to tell him differently?

The walk to the rental place was short and not as far as Matt had made it sound. He followed the redhead inside, where it was too warm, and stood by the door while Matt quickly obtained the keys to their ride.

Mello was slightly surprised to find it wasn't some sort of racing or sports car despite it not generally being what was rented out there. But Mello wasn't going to complain as he tossed the duffle bag into the backseat and climbed into the passenger side and slammed the door shut.

He waited for Matt to do the same before he let himself relax. "Directions?" the redhead asked.

Mello smirked and plotted the course into the GPS system the car was equipped with. "Well that was easy..." Matt muttered. Mello closed his eyes, not wanting to really see the city he'd left behind, as he knew it would be nearly an hour drive to Takahashi's place.

The silence between them, while not exactly tense, was certainly charged.

Mello supposed it had more to do with finally being in New York than anything else. After all, they would finally get some answers to the things that had weighed on their minds for the last few days.

Mello really hoped that there would be an easy fix to the situation at hand, but knew from experience that it wasn't likely to happen that way, no matter how much he wished for it to. Things just weren't ever that simple.

Not wanting to make himself any more anxious than he already was, Mello let his mind shut down, not quite asleep but relaxed enough not to keep rehashing facts and scenarios in his mind. Nothing more could be done until he, hopefully, got his favor from Takahashi.

The time blurred, his mind being unable to keep track of it, and he being unwilling to open his eyes, until the vehicle stopped and he heard the break being put on. With a sigh he cracked open his eyes and saw the familiar street a block down from Takahashi's. It would have been stupid to park directly there so he had plotted the course to end a bit always.

"Doesn't look like much." Matt commented dryly as he eyed the closed down building in front of them.

Mello sighed. "That's because we're not there yet. Leave everything except the gun I know you somehow smuggled here. Lock the car up." he pushed himself from the car and slammed the door, the few people walking on the streets didn't even glance in their direction.

Mello felt a feral smirk curl at his lips. The city was still as self absorbed as it ever was.

He felt Matt's eyes on him and it quelled his smirk and by the time he looked back over his expression was blank again. He could only imagine what Matt would think had he seen that smirk... it was like the old days.

He remembered the power that he'd had. The connections. He had thrived off of that despite being utterly miserable at the same time. But he paused. He also knew the cost of getting there. And just as he'd known it then, it simply wasn't worth it.

He hated who he'd become, what he has become, because of those decisions. Though he would _never _regret the path that led him back to Matt. Not ever.

He led them to the alleyway and banged on the thick metal doors that lead to the kitchens and eyed it warily when there was no answer; his fingers inched to his waistband to grab at the gun that no longer rested there. Beside him he heard Matt pull out his gun, the one he'd known Matt had brought.

He banged on the door again. "You think they moved?" Matt asked and he frowned. "No, someone like Takahashi wouldn't move now that he is firmly established. No one would."

Mello took the chance to turn the knob of the door, hoping that he wouldn't be shot upon entry, and swung it inward. Instead of the bustling kitchens there was silence. Complete and utter silence.

It unnerved Mello greatly.

He motioned for Matt to stay silent and took the lead despite not having the gun. His boots made an ungodly amount of noise on the linoleum flooring, in his mind, and he cringed every time the heavy boots clunked with his steps.

His eyes narrowed, and his movements slowed even further, at the unmistakable sign of blood spatter. All his senses were on high alert and he felt the flow of adrenaline; his eyes darted to every corner of the room.

He stepped out into the hallway and immediately stilled. Matt sucked in a breath behind him. Bodies filled the hallway, their blood covering the walls and leaving red trails. The stink of death had been well contained by the closed off kitchen. "Well, now we know why no one answered the phone."

Mello glared at the redhead, as his comment had been uncalled for and in Mello's mind, all of bad taste. He stalked as quietly as he could down the cluttered hallway, all of the bodies seemingly the bodyguards and other workers, which left him some hope.

It all vanished the second he reached the large meeting room.

There had been a deal or meeting of some sort going on, as the bodies were shot in the head and were slumped in their chairs, some even sprawled out across the tabletop, and the surface littered with scattered money. Takahashi himself had fallen to the table, eyes open wide in surprise as blood pooled out around his head.

But that wasn't what had Mello freeze up. No. It was the last body he laid eyes on that had him taking a step backwards into Matt.

"Mello?" Matt questioned softly.

He closed his eyes tightly and reopened them, hoping that the image would have changed. It had not. Stripped completely naked, face up, and embroidered with deep cut marks was Yumiko, Takahashi's only daughter. "Rat...?" he mumbled.

All around her blood was spread, and it covered most of her body. All except the area from neck to stomach where it had been wiped clean to leave the carved word 'rat' to see plain as day.

Mello stared at the woman who had been so beautiful in life, who was now nothing more than a bloodied corpse on the floor. "Mello?" Matt touched his arm slightly.

"Matt... I may know who did this. That message... that message was for me." he felt coldness creep from the depths of his being to wrap around his body, turning his skin to ice.

There was only one time in his life had he _ever_ felt joy in setting somebody up. And had he not been reminded of it until recently.... he may not have even remembered at all despite the impact it had on his mafia life.

And looking at Yumiko's lifeless eyes... he regretted not making sure the bastard had died.

"We need to leave. This place is anything but safe." he shook himself from Matt's grasp and walked stiffly back the way he had come, though he did glance down the other hallway and saw much of the same carnage.

There would be no help from Takahashi, or anyone that he had known. They all would have gone further underground to avoid detection, or they were dead. They would have to find another source of information. Thankfully Jasper would probably be more than willing to help.

He pulled his hood over his face and hurried back to the car not even glancing back to see if Matt had followed. He waited impatiently for the redhead to unlock the car, and as the engine started he wondered at the possibility of a car bomb.

Though as they didn't erupt in a tomb of wrecked metal and flames, he assumed they were safe for the moment. "Make sure to drive in the opposite direction of Jasper's and then take the long way there. We could be being watched."

He saw Matt frown and knew the redhead was anything but pleased at the moment. But to Mello, what had happened to Takahashi and his family was just another reason to settle his past, before more people got killed because of him.

As the scenery passed by he tried hard not to think on the past, for he knew it would only lead to guilt, guilt that he didn't have time to deal with at the moment, not until he knew they were completely safe, even if only for a night.

But out of all of it, Mello did have to wonder, why now? Why not two years ago when he'd been at his weakest, when he would have been an easy kill. Or even earlier, before he'd met back up with Matt. It would have been easy for someone to zero him and no one would have bothered to search for the killer.

Why wait until now, unless he had somehow made a mistake that had allowed himself to be found. But he could think of nothing other than leaving the flat to go to the grocers. And even then he had as much clothes on to cover himself as he could stand.

Perhaps they, as he was still hesitant to think it was that man Anderson despite the message, had only recently gotten what they needed to get rid of him?

He just didn't know and that was what irritated him the most. There were only questions, questions, questions and no answers.

He clenched his fist in irritation but didn't say anything even as Matt continually glanced at him.

Matt jerked slightly as he leaned over and stuffed a hand into his pocket to retrieve the redheads phone, as his had been disconnected and left in their flat. "You could have just asked..." he heard Matt mumble and looked away at the light blush that stained his cheeks.

He didn't have time to deal with that either.

With a sigh he punched in Jasper's number, and despite the phone not being answered, wasn't overly worried. It wasn't uncommon for Jasper to either not hear it, if he were sleeping, or blatantly ignore his phone.

Jasper always called back whenever he was finished with whatever had occupied his time beforehand, but they wouldn't need to wait on him this time as they were coming to him. Though there was still the slight bit of nervousness in the back of his mind after seeing what had happened with Takahashi.

And once they saw that Jasper was fine, and being his usual sarcastic lazy ass self, Mello knew he would be able to relax.

And only then.

_**-End Crash-**_

**AN:** So... anyone see that coming? It's not necessarily a huge thing plot wise, but I bet you didn't expect it, right? *shrug*

**Special thank to my lovely reviewers**!: critter141151, Rin, Ash, Salvi, blood-stained-rag-doll, RainbowJapan, Sail Pheevot, Lellozawa, foreverunloved, dancingsilverwolf, sareyva

Press the pretty button right under here :)


	7. Chapter 6: Feeling

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note.

**AN**: I hate to admit it...... but I had fun writing this chapter!

On another note........

ok you are all going to hate me..... heh. It's not my fault though... here is the thing, a chain of stores in my area just went out of business so now my store is picking up the slack... which would be good if my schedule wasn't so fucked up.

What i was hired for were Tuesday and Thursday nights (from 11pm to 7am the next day, which fucked me for sleep on the next day as its hard to sleep even with blackout curtains)

However i recently told you they've been sticking me on Sundays (anywhere from 12-5pm, or 1-6:30pm, but always 5 hours)

But now i'm stuck on Wednesday and Friday nights as well for god knows how long and i'm also going to be starting driving school soon to. So not only will I hardly have any time to write i'm not sure when i'll have the time, or the WILL to edit. So updates may or may not be a while in coming. (this IS complete but need editing before i can even send it to my beta as i haven't finalized the writing and even have a few missing scenes)

Sorry for this but you can blame Shaws (the stupid a-holes who went bankrupt and out of business)

**Suggested Listening**: Take It Off **by **Ke$ha**; **Late Night Lullaby** by **Papercut Massacre**; **In My Head **by **Jason Derulo**;** Dreamscape **by** 009 Sound System (erm.... listen to for last 600 or so words....)

**Chapter Six**: _Feeling_

A little under an hour after they had left Takahashi's, Matt pulled into the underground parking lot of Jasper's apartment. Mello stood, as he stepped from the car, and stretched languidly to ease his stiff muscles. He once again fingered the spot where his gun should have rested and ignored the look Matt gave him. He hadn't done that in a very long time. Being back in New York, being back in danger, was making some of his old habits return.

Though only time would tell if it were only the bad ones.

No words were spoken as the rode the elevator up to the correct floor, each lost in their own thoughts on the situation, and still they were silent as they walked down the narrow hallway, nearly single file.

Mello's breath caught, ever so slightly, at the sight of the door busted in and dangling precariously from only one of its hinges. "Fuck." Matt swore softly as he pulled Mello away from the opening and readied his gun.

Mello hated having to wait, but understood that it would be completely stupid to rush in there with no weapon as they were unsure of the state of the apartment. His mind flashed to that of Takahashi and he honestly had no idea what he would do when, _if_, they found Jasper's body.

Matt had the gun aimed and entered the apartment and when no sounds of struggle came through Mello deemed it safe enough to follow despite no word coming from Matt. His eyes immediately locked onto the word '_Traitor_' that had been left in large streaky red letting on the wall above Jasper's computer.

The computer itself had been completely trashed, as well as the rest of the furniture upturned and fractured.

Mello stared at the word and couldn't help the silent fury that seemed to seep its way out from the depths of his being. Takahashi had been bad enough, but now they had crossed the line. He could only console himself in the fact that Matt hadn't been hurt by this yet, and Mello swore that if anything ever happened to the redhead no one on earth or in heaven would be able to stop him from getting his revenge.

"Mello, there's no body. There's a bit of blood, but no body." Matt's voice was light and Mello understood why. No body meant Jasper could be alive. Had he gotten out, had they taken him, had-

"Mello." he jerked at the arm that touched his shoulder. "It's alright, we'll find him. We weren't in Wammy's House for nothing." Matt's soft voice soothed some of his frazzled nerves, enough to get his mind properly moving again.

"We need to get out of here. We have already spent too much time in here as it is." he dragged the bewildered redhead from the apartment and at the small and almost unnoticeable numbers lit up on the elevator Mello pulled them in the direction of the stairs.

It could be a 'welcoming' party just as easily as someone who lived on that floor. He just couldn't take the chance of it being the former. He had made two fatal mistakes already and supposed that he was lucky that Anderson, as he was certain it was him by this point, was a complete idiot or just liked toying with them.

Because had there been people waiting for them at either point it would have been all too easy to take them out. And Mello realized, with frightening certainty, that he had been out of the game for far too long.

Matt seemed to have realized the potential situation on their hands and despite the quick once over to check for tampering with the car, they rolled out of the parking lot and onto the open road.

Mello ran a hand across his face and stared grimly at the fading apartment in the side mirror. He had to believe that Jasper was alright, maybe not safe, but at least alive, if there was no body. The man had always been resilient.

Always.

-

_~8 years and some odd months ago~_

_Why did he always get the shit work? Hadn't he proved himself thrice over yet?! The blonde haired chocoholic muttered obscenities under his breath and glared at the men he passed. They leered but no longer could touch him at their leisure. _

_He flipped them off and stalked further down the corridor._

_He got into the car that awaited him downstairs and sighed irritably as they drove off. He knew how to drive, but the Don had said he'd needed to earn his way to his own transportation. _

_Mello growled and snapped off a piece of chocolate. As if he hadn't already!_

_He calmed himself, with a feral grin, at the thought of his latest assignment. It was nothing hard. He was simply being sent to an informants place to obtain information that had been promised, though he had been specifically told to kill the man should he resist. _

_He had been told that while the man was good at his job, he was lazy as sin and tended to hold up deals with his shenanigans. Mello wondered at what he would find when he got there. His fingers gently stroked the handle of the gun that was shoved in the front of his leather pants and grinned in cruel amusement at the odd glances he received in the rear view mirror._

_He was dropped off on the corner of the street and the car made its way into the parking garage, but Mello paid it no mind. He took the stairs up to the fourth floor, to burn off some of his energy, and gently tried the lock on the door and after finding it locked, quickly picked it._

_He flicked the safety off the gun though hadn't removed it yet. He let the door swing open and was greeted with a rather tidy apartment, which in his opinion didn't fit the profile he'd been given, and a guy lazily surfing the web. _

"_I think you know why I'm here. You have some information for me as I'm sure you know you've gone on long enough in procrastinating." from the relaxed way of the mans shoulders Mello got the feeling that this, as in the situation, happened at least once before._

_The guy turned around with a grin and to Mello's surprise he man didn't look too much older than him, probably around twenty or so._

"_Oh, and what will you do? Can you even use that gun, might be a little too big for you." the man, known only as Jasper, laughed. It was enough to set Mello's blood a boil. He hated not being taken seriously._

_He whipped out the gun and shot the man in the leg, lips pulling back into a grin at the pained moan that he received._

"_I've been told to kill you if you were uncooperative. So hand over the information, I have other crap to do." _

_Jasper rolled his eyes with a wince. "Fine, fine let me just get the damn disk." he muttered and Mello watched his hands with a sharp eye, so when he pulled the gun to point it at him he was able to shoot it from his grasp._

_Mello gave the man an unimpressed look and rose his eyebrow. "Honestly, I could have killed you, found the damn information and left by now. Just give me the damn stuff, you can live and I get to leave. Oh, and you get to owe me a favor." he added the last part spur of the moment. You never know when a favor might save your life._

_Instead of looking intimidated the man laughed. "Kid, you just got interesting. What's your name?"_

_Mello smirked._

-

-

Mello shook the memory from his mind and pulled Matt's phone from his jacket pocket and rifled through the glove compartment for one of those tourist guides. They needed a place to stay for the night and a hotel was their best bet.

He didn't just book a room in just one hotel though, nor did he stick to just certain star hotels either. Mello knew that if they had gotten his phone it was possible that they had gotten to Matt's phone as well. Or at least the possibility seemed far greater as the day wore on.

He smirked grimly at Matt who glanced at him as they drove further on, the sky darkening and the city lighting up. "Keep driving." he muttered to the redhead. Matt would figure it out without him having to tell him.

They wouldn't be going to any of those hotels. They were merely decoys, and he hoped the bait would be taken. A few seconds later, as the more run down parts of the city began to show, Matt made a noise of acknowledgement.

He left it up to Matt just where they would spend the night, now that they were into that area. Around twenty minutes later, night having finally taken root, they pulled into the back lot of a seedy looking hotel.

"Stay?" though Matt had asked it as more of a question Mello knew he was being told, just not in so many words. He sighed and leaned back into the seat and heard Matt utter a soft _'thank you_' as he closed the door.

It was probably better if only one of them were seen in the vicinity anyway. Though he doubted that Matt would let himself be seen by the security cameras anyway, not if he could avoid it.

He had just begun to slightly relax when the door swung open and Matt slid into the seat. "You know, had it not been you I wouldn't have had a way to defend myself...." he muttered darkly. Too many years doing too many dangerous things had made him more than paranoid, but it didn't make his statement any less true.

Matt bit his lip as he started the car and pulled it into the spot in front of a room. "I may have brought an extra gun.."

Mello stared incredulously at the redhead for a moment before Matt sighed and left the car. "And you didn't think it was a good idea to give it to me earlier?!" he hissed.

"No, in fact I would rather you not have to use a gun ever again. But we don't exactly have any other choice at the moment." Matt wouldn't look at him as he grabbed the two suitcases as well as his own duffle bag and walked over to a room five doors down from where they'd parked.

Mello closed his eyes and counted until he no longer felt the urge to shout at the redhead.

Now was not the time to get into an argument, and if Mello was truthful he knew all too well the changes wrought in him by his past, and he knew Matt was afraid of him going back to that.

He grabbed his own duffle bag and locked up the car as Matt had left the keys on the dashboard. He shut the door behind him and sat in the chair across from the bed that Matt sat on.

"So what's the story?" Matt was hunched over in his seated position on the bed, his face hidden from Mello's view. He didn't need any more explanation to know what Matt was talking about; he wanted to know about Anderson.

L knew a great deal about what went on in the mafia, but he didn't know everything, as not everything he'd done had been known, such as his set up of Anderson. And he would have preferred that Matt didn't have to hear about it.

But Mello would have preferred Matt not to know a lot about his days with the mafia.

"I met Anderson Carlyle nearly two days after I'd gotten into the mafia..." he took a deep breath and recalled as much as he could from that time, and when the entire story had finally spilled from his lips he couldn't bring himself to look in Matt's direction.

"I'll order us something to eat." Matt mumbled, his voice unsure. He left not long after to retrieve the food but softly said 'it's not your fault' as he shut the door. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and wished he could believe those words.

It was hard to say what would have happened had he not framed Anderson. He may never have gotten above the status of 'whore' and might never have found Matt. And despite all that had happened since they met back up, he knew neither of them could have really survived without the other for much longer.

Or maybe that was just his wishful thinking.

While he waited for Matt's return he readied the things he would need for later, such as his spare clothes as he would not be wearing the same thing to bed. And by the time Matt came back he had a small assortment of things unpacked, and though he'd been tempted to look for the gun, he'd left Matt's bag alone.

He still had no idea how Matt had gotten those things passed security.

"Pizza." Matt mumbled and set the box onto the small table that was set next to the air conditioner, though Mello wondered if the thing even worked as it was blowing air out but the room had gotten no cooler.

They ate in an awkward silence and Mello hoped that it wouldn't last into the next day. Matt didn't seem angry with him, or even resentful, but it was hard to read him with the goggles that covered his eyes.

Mello really did miss seeing his eyes despite the fact he knew Matt liked the goggles. It was a sort of barrier between him and the world. And to his understanding, when he had left his goggles behind after Wammys, drugs and sex had become his barrier to the world.

He supposed that they each had things they weren't proud of and wished they'd never done. But that was over and done with and he pushed the thoughts to the side.

He finished what he could of the pizza and went to change as Matt was still eating. He heard the soft sigh as he closed the door behind him and the loud buzz of the bathroom light surrounded him.

He glanced at himself in the mirror and found himself to be a little bit pale, more so than usual but supposed it had to do with the utterly exhausting day he'd had so far. He doubted the next would be much better.

They would have to do things on their own, find out the information any way they could without reverting into old habits. He wondered if Matt would suggest L be brought in on this. He worried his lip.

Would it be a good idea?

L certainly had more resources. But usually things connected with L and them, didn't end up well if the last fiasco was anything to go by. He splashed water onto his face and decided that if Matt wanted to bring L in on this then he wouldn't fuss over it.

After all, this case should be much easier to solve than the Detective Purge had been.

As he stepped from the bathroom he found Matt already changed and stuffing the empty box of pizza into the small trash can provided. "Night..." he said softly as he slipped into the scratchy sheets and tried not to think on if they had been washed or not.

He turned the lamp off on his side and rolled as far to the edge as he could without dropping onto the floor. He shut his eyes and vaguely registered the dip of the bed as Matt joined him sometime later, far too tired to care.

-

-

_His heart beat incredibly fast as he realized what the man meant to do to him. His eyes quickly scanned the room for an alternate exit, and with horror, he found none. The only way he'd be getting out of that room was either in a body bag, or to allow that man to do as he wished with his body._

_The man had obviously taken his silence as compliance as his hands slid their way across his body and Mello shivered. He tensed, heart leaping into his throat, as his pants were tugged down his hips and he were lead to the bed._

_He eyed the gun on the man's hip. He could easily pull it out and shoot him before things went any further... he could..._

_But then the bodyguards standing watch outside would just come in and kill him. And he would never find his friend again. Never see Matt in those dorky goggles again..._

_Something nudged the entrance of his ass and he jerked slightly. The man above grinned and Mello closed his eyes against the tears. If he didn't allow this to happen... if he didn't let this man take his virginity... _

_Then he may never get the resources to find Matt. _

_He cried out at the first thrust, a pain so intense it felt as though he lower half was on fire, being split in two and ripped apart. And no matter how he moved, how he shifted, everything was painful. _

_The man's breath was hot on his neck, his hands sweaty, and his movements harsh. He clawed at the bed in agony, and didn't care who heard him..._

_And as if by some miracle, he managed to zone out until something hot and sticky splashed inside of him. _

_A few moments later, maybe even minutes, the man pulled away from him, nearly laughing at his whimper of pain, and began to redress himself. "No one thought that you would actually go through with this."_

_Mello felt sick. He felt used and sick. _

"_I told him I would do anything to get what I wanted." his fingers had a white knuckled grip on the sheets and despite them already covering his naked body, he pulled them tighter._

"_I'm not one to complain." the man said as he refitted his tie and took care to make sure it was in its proper place. _

_The man shut the door without a backwards glance and Mello felt a wave of shame overtake him. He curled up on his side, eyes closed, and cried. _

-

-

Mello sat up in bed, heart beating wildly in his chest and breaths coming in harsh gasps. He clenched and unclenched his fist a few times and bit his lip. That had not been a memory he had wanted to relive. He only noticed Matt's tenuous hold on his arm when it slid away to his waist to pull him close.

"Nightmare?" Matt asked, though from his tone he'd obviously not expected an answer and was probably just happy that he hadn't pulled away yet.

Mello shut his eyes tightly. He knew that keeping all of his secrets was the cause of so many problems between them, even part of the reason he was stuck in limbo and unable to get any better mentally.

"It was a memory... about when I lost my virginity..." his voice shook and he kept his head bowed. He had long since known that Matt had gotten a hold of his file that L had written out for his time in the mafia, back when he'd thought Matt was J, so he knew Matt would understand what he'd meant.

What he didn't expect was for Matt to tense, nor mere seconds later to be thrown to the bed and pinned by the redhead. His eyes widened as he was kissed with such force, the absolute pure emotion in Matt's expression, that it literally jarred him.

"That time is long passed, let it go beautiful." Matt's fingers caressed the side of his face and he was kissed again before he could register the close contact. He was still out of sorts from the dream, but this was so much different from it. This was Matt, and he was.... safe.

Before he even consciously realized what he was doing, his arms had wrapped themselves around the redhead's neck.

Mello knew where it would lead; all of their pent up emotions and frustrations being released at once, in a very intimate act, but he couldn't bring himself to stop it. Not when he knew Matt craved the opportunity to express things through actions that would never be listened to if they were words.

He hissed slightly at the unexpected touch to the scars on his now naked chest. Matt's lips carefully traced the scars there while his fingers ran along the ones on his side. The gentle kisses to his flesh turned to nips and sucks and Mello couldn't help the moan it tore from his throat.

Hazily, Mello thought that it was the closest they had ever been in a long time despite what repercussions the morning might bring.

He jerked slightly at the hand that wedged itself between the fabric of his sweatpants; flashes of a time long ago still too fresh in his mind, though Matt brought something infinitely better into a situation that had been far too horrible at the time.

As the fabric slid down his legs and was tossed somewhere in the room, and Matt's fingers slid into him, Mello found himself avidly concentrating on Matt rather than the memories. As Matt had said... they were in the past. And despite the situation bringing his long gone, and painful, memories to the surface it was alright... because he was with Matt.

"Love you." Matt whispered.

Mello bit his lip in agony as Matt replaced his fingers with his penis. It was painful, as it had been over two years since he'd let Matt touch him in that way; but the connection, the passion, between them pushed it to the background, and Mello simply let himself _feel_.

He was surprised by the tears that formed in his eyes and that slid down the side of his face and even more so by the fact that Matt seemed to know, seemed to _understand_. Neither of them lasted all that long and Mello was left shuddering in the aftermath, wrapped tightly in Matt's embrace.

Matt pressed a kiss to his forehead and he couldn't help the fact that his eyes drooped. He let himself relax, if only for that once, in those arms.

He didn't know what would happen in the morning, when he could think clearly, but he knew that it had to be better than when the previous day had started.

_**-End Feeling-**_

**AN**: Bet you didn't expect that, did you? Lol. And I swear to kami that "Dreamscape (long edit) - 009 Sound System" is like my sex scene song because whenever I'm attempting to write one, its ALWAYS on repeat by accident! I think it's the beat... seriously look it up, its a fabulous song. Its dancey and yet... just listen to it......

So.... thoughts? How is this doing as a fic?

Vote on my new poll?

**Special thanks to reviewers: **Yaoiluver190, Lellozawa, foreverunloved, RainbowJapan, Salvi, Rin, critter141151

**Can I get 10 Reviews next chapter?**

**Please**?


	8. Chapter 7: Succession

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN: **OK, so by now im sure mostly everyone knows about the fight against the LU (and if you don't and are an M writer, or plan to be go to my profile or Enemies of the Literate Unions profile for details, its urgent!)

So because of all that I was like 'eh!' with editing. But I forced myself to edit this last night. I hope there aren't too many errors!

**Suggested Listening**: Animal **by** Ke$ha**,** Hypnotic Dancefloor **by** BoA (if you listen to the lyrics I suppose this would have fit well for the last chapter... but it wasn't on my playlist then..)

**Chapter Seven**: _Succession _

Mello slowly blinked his eyes and gradually became aware of his surroundings. He lay comfortably in the hotel rooms bed feeling more rested than he had in a long time. His body ached pleasantly with the memory of night befores events.

Though that was more than enough to have him tense as he became aware of the body he lay half draped on and the arms that were around him. Matt's breathing was steady but not that of someone asleep.

He lifted his head and was met with a stare of de-goggled green eyes.

He honestly couldn't bring himself to regret anything, despite the heat that rose to his cheeks, and the urge to pull away from the contact. No more than a few seconds later Matt's arms loosened and slid away from him.

"Go on, I know you're uncomfortable. Thank you for letting me comfort you." his eyes fluttered slightly as Matt's fingers brushed a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Take a shower, I'll clean up around here a bit and take one before we leave." Matt suggested, giving him an out, a way to leave the contact. And to his shame, he took it despite his conflicting feelings; one tugging him away and the other screaming at him to stay there, safe, in Matt's arms.

He crawled from the bed, the sheet being tugged along with him, and padded softly to the small bathroom. The bright, almost orange, glow of light came on with a flicker as he flipped the switch and stepped inside.

He hesitated, having the door mostly closed, before he rested his head on the trim, eyes closed. He bit his lips and pulled the sheet tighter around him. "Join me?" he called out softly. And for a moment he almost believed that Matt hadn't heard until the soft rustle of blankets alerted him to Matt getting up.

"You sure?"

Mello opened his eyes and nodded at the redhead. "I wouldn't have asked otherwise." though the racing of his heart said differently. "Alright." he shivered as the sheet was gently tugged from his grasp and tossed outside of the bathroom as the door was shut.

He let Matt set the temperature as they had different tastes when it came to that, but as long as it wasn't cold he would be able to handle it.

He stepped inside after Matt, and though it was a slightly tight fit, they managed.

When they were both clean, dried off, and dressed, they began to pack up the room and the small amount of clutter that had accumulated in it since they'd arrived. "We were actually supposed to have been out of here an hour ago." Matt commented as he brought the suitcases out to the car.

Mello wondered how long they would have to do this, as he watched Matt check over the car for tampering. Run from hotel to hotel until they could find Anderson and whomever else connected to the case. Because to Mello it was a case. A case more important than anything.

"We're good to go." Matt muttered as he slid into the drivers seat. Mello added his duffle bag to the backseat and slammed the door as he got in. And though Matt had cleared it he still held his breath as the engine was started.

He had seen far too many people get taken out by car bombs in his day, granted none of them had either of their intellects....

"To another hotel now, or...?" Matt trailed off as he pulled from the parking lot and onto the main road. Mello honestly wasn't sure. There was a chance, that if they booked a hotel stay right then, that they could be tracked down and found before nightfall. However, the same could be said for driving around all day.

Matt's stomach let out a loud growl and Mello couldn't help the grin that tugged at his lips. "I guess we can decide after we eat. It's probably better that we're in a crowded place at the moment... what about one of those internet cafes?"

Matt hummed his agreement. "That could work, we could get something to eat and see about getting some information. Everyone leaves a trail, right? So there has to be something to connect your man Anderson to this area."

They found a cafe not too long after, as Mello had known the general area it was in from the last time he'd been there. They only stepped from the car once Mello had his hood up and the dark sunglasses over his eyes.

They would garner some unwanted stares from their attire, Mello's covered face and Matt's stripes and goggles, but it would be worse if they let their faces be seen. "Set up my laptop here and I'll get us something edible."

Mello shrugged but didn't mind as he would have had a small bit of difficulty handling more than one thing on the way back. "Get me a coffee!" he called to the retreating redhead. Matt rose a hand to signal that he'd heard and Mello sat at one of the tables, closer to the back of the cafe, and booted up the laptop.

A few minutes later Matt arrived and set down two coffees, one black and the other with cream and sugar. He also placed some sort of wrapped sandwich like thing in front of each of them, and off to the side a pair of chocolate chip muffins.

"Eat the other thing first." Matt commented with amusement. Mello sighed and produced a chocolate bar from his coat and lifted the lid of the coffee to add it inside. While he let the coffee dissolve the confection he unwrapped the sandwich, which turned out to be egg and cheese, and ate it.

Matt had half of his sticking out of his mouth as he brought up a few programs on his computer, though Mello had never seen them before. "Mello... I want to ask L to help us. I know this has to deal with... your past. But I really think we could use the extra help should he be willing." Matt's gaze was firmly directed at the laptop screen and his voice was nothing more than a hushed whisper.

Mello closed his eyes but withheld a sigh. "Alright." he said softly. Matt looked at him with a frown of confusion.

"That's it? You're not going to argue?"

Mello took a sip of his coffee and used the stirrer Matt had brought to swirl the chocolate around. "Would you prefer me to argue?" he took another experimental sip and found it to be infinitely better. He should have known to mix it first.

"No... but I know you've gone out of your way to make sure we weren't in contact with him after..." Matt trailed off and despite the fact he really no longer wanted to eat, Mello took a bite of the sandwich.

"I'm not an idiot, most of the time, so I do realize how important it is to finish this quickly. If you want to bring L into this, then bring L into this." he glanced around to make sure no one was listening despite how low his voice had gone when stating the detectives name.

"I decided last night before bed that if you wanted his help, I wouldn't complain." he added as an afterthought.

Matt smiled and leaned over to kiss him. Mello had thought about pulling away but in the end simply allowed it. If he ignored the urges to pull away, that always seemed to lurk beneath the surface, he could almost imagine that it was like everything was normal between them again.

"I'll e-mail him now." Matt told him as his fingers raced across the keys.

"Why not give him your number. We're both going to have to get new phones after this anyway." Matt nodded to him though his eyes never turned his way. Mello found that he didn't really mind.

He took another small bite of the sandwich before he began to pick at it, and as it became apparent that he wasn't going to eat more than half of it he pushed it to the side and took hold of one of the chocolate chip muffins.

Matt snorted, and he could only assume that it had to do with him and the muffin.

Not even five minutes later Matt's cell phone rang and Mello had no delusions as to whom it was. He quickly retrieved it from his pocket and handed it over to Matt. He had no desire to speak with L, or even worse, Near.

"Hello?" Matt answered in his bored 'I'm playing a game what do you want' tone of voice. Mello could feel his appetite dwindle but forced himself to eat the remainder of the muffin as it wasn't certain whether or not they would be able to stop to eat once they got started.

And while Mello didn't like the fact, he would have to play by Matt's rules for this. He couldn't go out on his own, gun or not, and Matt's expertise was in computers. So if there was any information to be had he would probably find it that way.

Though there would probably be a lead that couldn't be followed using the computer, and then they would have to go together. Mello allowed a tiny smile at the thought, though he wasn't sure he would have it any other way at the moment.

Matt glanced at him for a second. "No, he's not with me at the moment."

He bit his lip and knew that even if L requested to speak to him, he wouldn't. Matt sighed and Mello could tell his irritation levels were rising. He hesitated but at the twitch of Matt's lip, slipped his hand into the redheads free one; it successfully startled him enough to distract him from whatever L had been doing to piss him off.

Matt smiled widely at him and he gave a lopsided one back. Matt was always the one to sacrifice things for them, so if a little discomfort on his part made Matt happy who was Mello to complain?

"If you're basing your help on whether or not you get to speak to him then I guess we are through-" Matt had gone still and his posture had slouched even further, his face becoming half hidden by the neck of the furred vest.

Mello removed his hand from Matt's and snatched the phone from him. "What the fuck do you want?" he hissed quietly so as to not draw too much more attention to them.

"Mello, I am glad that you have decided to join the conversation." he vaguely hear Near mutter something in the background like '_Mello has finally stopped running from his problems then?_' followed by something he didn't quite catch. Though he knew it was something nasty aimed at himself.

He must have let his inner fury slip into his expression as Matt squeezed his thigh and made an attempt to take the phone back, though he didn't let him. Mello mouthed 'thank you' to the redhead but shook his head and didn't release the phone.

"What do you want?" he stressed again. **_"I would like for you to reconsider your removement from my succession." _**

Mello's eyes widened. L still wanted him to be....?

His eyes flickered over to Matt. His hand tightened on the phone and he closed his eyes. "My answer is still no." he didn't want to see Matt's expression as he would have figured it out by now just what L wanted from him.

"**_Is it because you don't want it, or feel that you don't deserve it?"_** Mello sucked in a breath and his left arm twitched slightly.

"In the end, it doesn't really matter does it?" he heard the soft sigh at the other end. "I refuse. I am... happier without it." the succession to L had once meant so much to him, and when Matt had disappeared it had taken a backseat in he search to find the redhead.

And even once he'd found Matt again, it hadn't really mattered all that much to him anymore. And now, an even further amount of time later, he supposed it shouldn't come as a surprise that he didn't miss it.

It had hurt to take himself out of the running, but Mello had a feeling it had more to do with his injury and subsequent disability and the thought of rejection more than loosing the actual succession.

"**_That is unfortunate. Be that as it may, as you are no longer a successor, I would be under no obligation to help you-"_**

Mello tuned out the rest of what L was saying. L was a good friend so long as things went his way, went according to his thinking. Which was why Near was a good choice as he was a sheep, a drone, a follower. A perfect little clone of L.

But Mello wouldn't fault L in his thoughts. He just wouldn't play his game. "Goodbye L." he ended the call despite the warning call of **_'Mello-_**_'_ on the other end. He even went so far as to turn the phone off and set it on the table away from him.

It looked as though he and Matt were on their own. But they always managed to make it before... so perhaps they didn't need anyone else.

"Mello?" Matt questioned softly. He turned his gaze to Matt and smiled a little. "Shall we get to work, we have a lot to do on our own."

Matt smiled sadly and glanced back to the laptop. "I suppose the obvious would be start hacking the traffic cameras and see if any of the same vehicles were around Takahashi and Jasper's more than once in the day leading up to... and then I'll check if any police reports were filed for-"

Matt had already trailed off as he began to type. Mello knew it was a long shot that they would find Anderson before the man made his next move. He just hoped that whatever the man had planned, they could survive it.

Mello contented himself with watching the people of the cafe while Matt dug around the internet; that was Matt's domain and if anyone could find what they needed and not leave a trail in doing so, it would be him.

He just hoped there would be something to find.

A little girl and, what Mello assumed was her mother, sat down not too far from them and the little brown haired girl had taken to staring at him, or it could have been both of them. He half smiled at her in hopes that she would be placated and turn away but it only made her giggle and wave at him.

Which in turn made the mother take notice. She frowned disapprovingly at her daughter and smiled slightly apologetically at him though Mello could see she was weary of him. He didn't blame her. He was the one with most of his face hidden by his hood as well as the dark sunglasses.

He took to looking out the windows and made note of anyone who passed more than once, though for the most part there was no one suspicious so he doubted that anyone knew where they were for the moment.

"I found the vehicle." Matt told him a while later. He pulled his gaze from the window and directed it at the redhead who had leaned back in his chair. "There's a problem though, I found it but so did the cops. It was abandoned on the roadside and found late last night."

Mello swore under his breath.

"It's registration was fake and it leads nowhere, they are investigating but I doubt that they will find anything." Matt sighed and took a sip of his long gone cold coffee. They had found something, just not the something they'd been hoping for.

"As for police reports concerning possible witnesses for Takahashi and Jasper... nothing." Matt drummed his fingers on the edge of the table and the bottom half of his mouth disappeared below the vests collar.

Mello hadn't really expected anything to have been reported as people tended to value their own lives far more than they valued the right thing. He knew that all too well.

"Um... Sirs?" a mousey waitress in thick rimmed glasses walked up to them. Mello turned his head in her direction and for a moment thought she might faint.

"The manager would like you to leave if you are not going to buy anything else as other customers would like to use the table..." she trailed off and appeared to have lost her nerve. Mello wondered, if she was this timid, why had she been sent to deal with them?

Especially when they seemed the type that might cause problems.

He glanced at Matt and nodded. "That's fine, we were just about to leave anyway." the mousey waitress let out a huge sigh of relief and nodded before slinking off to the other side of the cafe, presumably where it was 'safe'.

He took a glance at the time on the laptop before Matt closed the lid and it was no real surprise they had been asked to leave as it was already very near two o'clock. Though despite the late hour, Mello wasn't hungry.

He followed Matt out of the cafe and they took the long way in getting back to the car, as it probably wouldn't have been a good idea to go straight there. They had no way of knowing if it were just Anderson, though by the state of Takahashi's place it was unlikely, or how many people he had with him.

And until they had a better idea of just what was going on, other than the possible revenge, they had to play it more than safe. Though really, just how safe were they anywhere at he moment?

There was no way to tell and that was what had Mello scanning every face in the crowd no matter where they passed. Paranoia was a learned reaction, and even if it appeared that Matt was taking it easy, Mello had enough for the both of them.

"Where to now?" Matt asked as he lit a cigarette and leaned up against the car. And for once, Mello honestly didn't know.

**-End _Succession_- **

**AN: **ARG!!!! This chapter was evil to me. It was very hard to write....

: (you want to know how long ago I was writing this? I just found out that I got my new job and had posted Choices chapter 19 two days before. Yeah....)

Review even though I was so long in updating……


	9. Chapter 8: Betrayal

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note; honestly I wouldn't be writing this if I did.

**AN**: An interesting chapter, short though.

**Suggested Listening**: A Lunatic's Lament **by** Alesana

**Chapter Eight**: _Betrayal_

_~9 years and some odd moths ago~ _

Anderson grinned cruelly at the men he passed on his way out of the building but was slightly disconcerted by the way they sneered back. He narrowed his eyes and merely figured that he would need to practice a new grin that would make them uneasy.

It seemed that the old one wasn't doing its job any longer.

Those thoughts were instantly discarded as a hood was placed over his head and he struggled furiously but something hit the base of his skull and he faded out of consciousness.

Anderson awoke the moment the hood was removed and smelling salts were placed under his nose. He groaned slightly and tried to get his bearings. He heard a multitude of laughs and looked up, expecting to see thugs from one of the rivaling families, but was surprised to see the very men he worked with.

"What the hell is going on?" he mumbled.

One of the men scoffed, he was a tall muscular man and not someone you wanted to get into a fistfight with. He held a phone in his hand and despite there being nothing else on him, he made it seem ominous.

"Like you don't know, you damn traitor. The Don isn't happy with you. Not in the least." the weasel like man standing nearby to him spat out.

Traitor? What in the hell were they talking about, he thought to himself. Sure everyone knew the rumors that there was a traitor in the fold, someone who had caused more than a few deaths of men and the men's families alike, as well as made them loose a lot in profits and drugs, but he wasn't it.

The moment he opened his mouth to dispute the accusation he was wacked in the face with something metal and felt blood drip down his face. "I don't want to hear any bullshit from your mouth. All you have to do now is listen."

Listen?

To what?

"Normally someone's family is left alone, as you know, but the courtesy is retracted from a rat like you. The Don is very angry to find out that someone he trusted and treated like a son was the one leaking information and causing all the problems."

"You've been here for a few days under heavy drugs and what a surprise, the problems have stopped." the weasel like man sneered at him.

_Stopped, but how could that be? _

"Listen closely, someone wants to say hello." Anderson felt a surge of fear at the cold smile that was directed towards him as the phone was held up to his ear. At first he couldn't quite understand what was happening on the other line, and it must have shown on his face as the others had shared a look of mirth.

'Please, oh god stop!' the voice of his sister jarred his senses. And it didn't take too long after to realize what was being done her. His eyes hardened and he had to make a conscious effort not break.

She wasn't even fourteen yet! And it was made worse by him having to hear it happen. He felt sick as he heard the man grunt on the other end before only the quiet sobs of his sister filled the otherwise silence before the phone was yanked away.

"And now that part is done, you get to take a ride. Got to get this place cleaned up before the next deal." with more force than necessary he was yanked from the chair and maneuvered into a car and the bag replaced over his head.

He couldn't tell where he was going, but he knew it was probably to his death. His fists clenched and he wished his hands weren't cuffed behind his back. He didn't know what warehouse they had been at so he hadn't any idea where they were once the car stopped, though the sounds of screaming and the pungent smell of smoke assaulted his senses.

He was pulled from the car with a feeling of dread and his heart hammering in his chest. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes once the bag was lifted and could only stare in horror at the sight of his mother's house up in flames and the hands that banged on the tiny windows from the inside.

The front door was blocked off from the outside and he could only guess that all other entrances and exits had been as well. They had left his family to roast alive. His legs felt weak, and despite having been in the mob since he was young, he sank to his knees.

"Now you know what the others felt like when they learned their families had been murdered. A lot of good people died because of your information selling. But on the bright side, you wont live long enough to wish you were dead." he was pulled back into the car as the sirens blared and the emergency services came too late to be of any use.

His mind whirled and tugged itself in too many directions. His family, did that mean all of them? His parents, siblings? Everyone?

A well of anguish was squashed by a rage that surprised even Anderson himself. He wouldn't lie down and die like a dog, not now. He would have his revenge if it killed him!

The car rolled to a stop and as the door opened he shifted in his seat and kicked out. The weasel faced man was thrown backwards onto his ass and Anderson hopped out of the car. He heard the loud crack of gunfire long before the bullet actually pierced his flesh.

He swore and could feel the sticky hot blood as it oozed from his shoulder. He wriggled free of the hands that grabbed at him and head butted the man closest to him. He took of running and was dimly aware of the next bullet that struck him in the back and the other two that lodged their way into his legs.

Yet still he ran on. He was stuck between them and the end of the pier. He took a flying leap off the end and prayed that he would survive all of this, because he wanted to make sure the person who framed him suffered.

And greatly.

**-End **_**Betrayed**_**-**

**AN:** So now we have more of the story. And before anyone gets confused, Mello was in no position to have ordered anyone to do those things to Anderson's family, so Mello is only guilty of framing him. But honestly, the jerk deserved it. But I'm biased.... because marshMello is so much more awesome than Anderson, right?

**Special thank to the depressing few who review:** sareyva, Lellozawa, Aoayame, critter141151

Review?


	10. Chapter 9: Bounty

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note.

**AN**: Erm……. Sorry for the late updates? (I just KNOW my next fic is going to be like every other week)

So no more flashbacks. They are all done... just to let everyone know. And let me tell you wow, Mello like stole my brain for a while and the chapter like went all over the place. I ended up with 1000 words I hadn't even planned. _Bad_ Mello.

OH! And check out **DioblicaJeevas** and **Miharu is Haruka's Love Child**; they are epic :)

**Suggested Listening**: Lie To Me **by** 12 Stones**;** After Dark **by** Asian Kung-Fu Generation**; **Roots **by** Uverworld (I LOVE them so much. I am addicted to the leads voice!)

**Chapter Nine**: _Bounty_

They had ended up at a local bar despite how early on in the day it was. It was a good place to hide as the lighting was dim, as generally people who drank didn't want blaring lights in their eyes, and you were left alone for the most part so long as you weren't making a drunken fool of yourself.

Matt had ordered them lunch, despite Mello's assurances that he really wasn't hungry. Matt had stated that Mello was still to skinny and needed to eat more.

That had been around ten minutes ago and despite the smug grin on Matt's face Mello deigned not to say a word. He pushed his mostly empty plate to the center of the table and glared. Matt leaned foreword slightly and his smirk slipped.

"Is there anyone left over from the old days that might be persuaded to help?"

Mello inwardly cringed and shook his head. "Anyone other than Jasper would be more likely to use me as a bargaining chip for something after those damn broadcasts during my captivity." he still hated having to talk about those times. It was stupid, as it had happened years ago now...

"Alright then, since we have well and good established that we are on our own, do you agree that this man would more than likely simply clip you should he see you on the street?" Matt's voice was calm, face expressionless, and though he couldn't see the redhead's eyes he knew he was worried.

He paused to think. Of what he knew of Anderson, that would definitely be a yes. But too many years had passed to know for sure so he simply settled for a nod of his head.

"So no information gathering for you." Matt told him in a mock stern voice. His lips twitched at Matt poor attempt at humor.

"I wasn't planning on going anyway." he leaned back so that his face was mostly in the shadows, though from the angle he sat it was mostly the scarred portion that was shown.

"What if you only contacted those people through e-mail? You wouldn't have to meet with them.." Matt trailed off. Mello shrugged and though he knew nothing would come of it, if the few he could still remember still had the same contact information, he pulled his laptop from the small bag he'd brought in with him.

He hadn't thought that he'd packed his travel bag, the one he used mostly for small loads of groceries, but he apparently had. It was now his laptop carrying case, as never had really used the original one so it hadn't been brought with them.

He noticed Matt pull his own laptop to sit on the tabletop, though he had angled it so that the people behind him wouldn't be able to see what was on the screen. It was doubtful that anyone would be spying on them at the moment, but the paranoia was far too ingrained after the Detective Purge to really do otherwise.

He pulled up his e-mail and looked through the saved contacts, though all of the information was coded and jumbled. He wrote out his request and then sent it to the fifteen separate accounts.

He only had to wait a minute before seven e-mails popped up in his inbox. All seven of them confirmed the same thing. Those accounts were no longer in service. He took a sip of his water and sat back to wait, though it was anyone's guess if there would be any replies.

And even if someone did reply and wanted to give him information, he wasn't sure how much, if any, of it he would trust. _Could _trust. Anderson had found out about Takahashi, though it had hardly been a secret, as well as Jasper so it was possible to have found out about his other contacts despite him not having spoken with any of them in years.

"Any luck yet?" he moved his gaze up to Matt, rather than the table he'd been staring at, and shook his head. "So far I only confirmed that half the accounts are inactive."

Matt nodded. "I haven't gotten any further than the footage around Takahashi's. There is feed missing that I hadn't noticed before since I had simply hacked into the actual database."

"What do you mean by missing?" Mello asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Someone has removed the entire camera and wiped it clean from the databases records. It had looked odd for them not to have a camera in that area, as they did for the rest of the streets traffic areas, but with budget cuts and procrastination I hadn't thought anything more on it until I found a small inconsistency in the system. They did a good job at covering their tracts, I'll give them that, but they aren't that good."

Mello fought the urge to roll his eyes at the self satisfied look Matt had adopted. "So basically all we found out is that they literally took out the camera and got rid of the evidence of them murdering Takahashi?" he questioned. He was only slightly sorry when Matt's expression fell.

"That's about the gist of it..." Matt stated sourly and lit a cigarette.

"At least you're on the right track...?" he muttered, though it came out as more of a question. Matt smiled slightly at him before going back to typing away, though Mello presumed he was going to make an attempt at retrieving the lost footage.

The only real help that would be was in confirming who had done it, though that was based on the assumption that Anderson, who Mello strongly suspected as they had never found his body, had gone along and his face had been captured by the camera.

A box popped up and alerted him to a new message to which he clicked on. It wasn't telling him about another deactivated account. Though he would have preferred any one else to have contacted him.

Jasper would probably have a conniption fit over him even having thought of dealing with her again, never mind actually getting into contact. He frowned at the ache in his chest. He really hoped his friend was alright...

He snorted softly as he read over the first few lines. He had briefly entertained the idea of her account having been hacked or interrupted, but it was definitely Amber.

His gaze narrowed as she mentioned wondering how he was doing after his capture, as he had now confirmed he'd lived. And though it looked nice as words Mello knew the first half had been stated sarcastically.

She went on to state that she'd help, but only if he would play a game with her.

He knew the kind of games that she liked to play. He wrote a not so polite reply before blocking her from contacting him again. "Not going well?"

"It's a complete waste of time. And though the rest haven't replied, I can only assume that they would want something out of it like the last one." he met Matt's gaze steadily and the redhead finally sighed before looking away. Mello wondered if Matt had thought that he'd take the offer, though Matt didn't know what it entailed.

Mello wasn't angry, because he probably would have done so in the past. He allowed a small smile to creep onto his face. Even if he was in the same shape he'd been in the past, he still wouldn't have taken Amber's offer this time.

He stole a glance at Matt, who was studiously typing away again, and shook his head. He definitely wouldn't have done it.

Mello hated waiting, and yet there was really nothing more for him to do until Matt either found something or allowed them to investigate the old fashion way. Though he knew that as long as they were relatively safe Matt wouldn't let the last part happen too easily.

He understood Matt's need to keep them safe, though in the back of his mind he recognized that it probably was just a need to keep _him_ safe, but he wasn't about to do something reckless.

He closed the laptop and put it into hibernation as it had gotten overheated, the table being almost burning hot where it sat, and placed it back into his bag. He doubted that there would be any more e-mails, and if there were they could damn well wait until they got settled later on.

"Alright, I think we should get going. It's going to get dark soon and I'd rather not be out and searching for a place to stay then." Matt said a short while later as he packed up his own laptop and left money on the table.

In the long while they'd been there, the bar had livened up quite a bit as people had gotten off of work and come there to distress or simply come to get drunk. Mello scrunched his nose up at the thought of getting drunk.

That was one thing he didn't particularly miss from the old days.

They got into the car but it wasn't started until they'd found a hotel to stay in. it was in a different area than the night before, and significantly better but not quite upscale, though they would have to take care to stay away from the camera's, though Mello was sure that Matt would hack into them and delete the footage the second they got into their rooms.

Mello tossed the redhead a curious look as he pulled into a Chinese takeout parking lot as they had eaten not too long ago. Though Mello supposed it was long enough by normal standards.

"I don't want to have to go out later. It's better if we don't make ourselves a possible target more times than we have to at night. Besides, Chinese food at least tastes good cold." Mello really couldn't disagree with him on either account. Matt walked to the outside of the restaurant and grabbed a menu for them to look at.

It took twenty minutes of changing their minds constantly before a decision was reached. "Stay here." Matt told him as he left the vehicle. Mello scowled at him. Stay here? What was he, a dog?

Despite his slightly alleviated irritation levels he did indeed stay in the car. If anything it would be amusing to see Matt carrying their order, which by the time it was done, was huge. They hadn't truly been able to decide on what they wanted and had just ordered a little of everything.

And although it had only been around five hours since their last meal, he found that the thought of food made him slightly hungry. He had no doubt that the ride to the hotel with the food in the car would make his appetite soar.

Mello watched, a few minutes later, with some amusement as Matt struggled with the door and nearly dropped the food more than once. He half thought about pressing the lock button on the passenger controls so that when Matt tried to open the back door he wouldn't be able to.

The thought was absolutely childish, and it struck Mello so intensely that he actually paused. He in all honesty, hadn't allowed himself those types of thoughts for some time now. Whether he had simply been unable or unwilling wasn't something he could figure out.

Small things like that had been happening with more frequently over the past few months but never before had he entertained the thought that he may just be healing despite all the evidence contrary.

As Matt slid back into the car he allowed himself a small laugh which only caused the redhead beside him to cast an odd look at him. He shook his head to Matt's silent question and was only sure that Matt had stored the incident away for further scrutiny when the engine roared to life and they pulled out into the street.

He hoped that Matt wouldn't actually question him on it as he would be hard pressed for an explanation that didn't sound stupid. In fact, he wasn't sure it was possible to explain his thoughts as they didn't mix well with their current situation.

And despite the danger, Mello supposed he felt... more alive than usual. If he allowed himself more thought on it, he recognized that he had become a sort of hermit whilst using the excuse that people would recognize him. When in reality... he had been... afraid.

His lips pressed into a hard line as he took a bite of that reality. He didn't like to admit to his shortcomings, not even silently in the safety of his own mind. He hated weakness, which he supposed had only fed into his self imposed isolation.

He idly wondered if Matt had figured out any of that and if it were the reason for his seemingly high tolerance for his constant bad moods.

This case... despite everything... was perhaps the best thing that could have happened. It forced him out of his comfort zone and back into life. Though it mainly only made him realize just how much he hadn't missed the 'real' world.

What he had missed... he already had, should he take it.

He glanced over at Matt and held back a sigh. Just because he had finally realized a few things didn't mean he was ready to confront them. Just a little longer, he told himself, just a little longer.

A hand touched his arm and it was only then he noticed they had parked in the back of the hotel and Matt had the key for the room. "What's going on in that head of yours?" Matt questioned softly.

"Nothing much really." he gave a small smile and slipped from the vehicle before Matt could question him further. He ignored the food in the back as he knew he would have dropped it, and instead took hold of their duffle bags and left the suitcases.

They had transferred a few essential items to the duffel bags so all they hauled from the car were the bags every time they stopped for longer than a meal. He noted that Matt had left the hotel room unlocked and he gently touched the gun that Matt had finally given him and checked the room over.

There was, as he had expected, no one else there. But it would have nagged at him until he'd checked.

The door shut with a click and the light flickered on, the room was much nicer than the previous nights despite the fading light bulb.

He deposited their bags onto the single bed and listened to the sounds of Matt digging around inside the Chinese takeout bag and placing things on the table that was in the room. Mello idly wondered if the food would all fit there.

The smell permeated the air and his stomach growled. He sighed, knowing full well that he would be overly full should he eat now, but knew he would do it anyway. "I think we got way too much."

He snorted softly at Matt's exclamation. "You're just now figuring that out?" he questioned with what he hoped was a teasing tone of voice. Honestly he hadn't done anything like that in a long time, and from the small look of surprise on Matt face, it really had been too long.

He refused to dwell on just how dull he'd let his life become, because it would only lead to dark thoughts.

"We will have plenty for later I guess." Matt commented halfheartedly as he pulled open a container and dug into it with one of the provided plastic forks.

Mello followed suit and found himself sampling a little of everything.

There ended up being much leftover food but Matt had merely smirked and begun to store it in the small mini refrigerator they had. He shook his head at the other and helped until the mess of cartons that had been on the table was either in the fridge or the rubbish bin.

He sat himself in the middle of the bed and pulled out his laptop, as Matt did the same only utilizing the cleared table, and opened his e-mail. He had three new messages. One stated that the e-mail couldn't be found, while another simply stated 'don't contact me anymore'.

The third had been a request to meet in person which Mello quickly ignored and deleted. Meeting in person was dangerous when he could properly defend himself, and would be downright stupid now.

Yes he had a gun now. But his hand shook violently and made anything but a close target impossible to hit. He had never figured out why only his right hand had the shakes, but it figured that was the one he'd been left with.

He had four new messages in his spam and idly clicked on the folder only to frown as he noted the sender of two of them. One had been dated the day after he'd pulled himself from succession, and the other was from eight hours ago.

He glanced at Matt, who for all appearances was wholly absorbed in whatever he was doing, and opened the message. His frown deepened the more of the message he read before he violently clicked on the delete button.

"Something wrong?"

He shook his head at Matt's question and turned away from his gaze. He irritably flopped backwards onto the bed and curled onto his side.

How dare L suggest he would be better off without Matt. Yes, a lot of shit had happened in his pursuit to find him, but that was anything but Matt's fault. It was true he'd broken his promises to L, and himself, to save Matt but that had been his _choice_. He could have gone about it in a better way, but hadn't.

He felt the bed dip slightly but thought nothing of it.

The last though, had truly pissed him off. His capture had been unfortunate but Matt was hardly at fault. Had he forgone the trip to the bathroom, or simply been just a little more observant, he would have been fine.

Either L truly believed all that bullshit, or he was attempting to piss him off so much that he would call to set things straight. But Mello wouldn't make the mistake of calling him. L had once been an idol. L had once even been a friend, but he had gone too far with that.

"Oh."

He looked over at Matt's small expletive and found the redhead at his laptop looking at the e-mail he had deleted. Or _thought_ he had deleted. He sat up and immediately felt guilty. Matt should have never seen that...

Matt didn't even look angry, or even sad, more… accepting. As though he had already thought everything L had rambled on about was fact. He hesitantly leaned into Matt's side and let his head rest on the redheads shoulder.

"That's why I got so angry, it's utter bullshit." he spoke softly and felt more than noticed Matt's gaze on him.

"L makes good points-"

"They were my choices! I could have chosen a dozen different paths, but those are the ones I chose. As for the last, I simply shouldn't have gone into the bathroom. Leave it at that. L's simply irritated that I refuse to play his games." the first part had come out far more forcefully than intended though it had seemed to get the message across.

For how long now had Matt thought that way? Felt that certain events were his fault? Mello felt incredibly selfish at that moment. He had been so wrapped up in his own lingering problems that he hardly thought about Matt's.

"Don't become like me..." he whispered so softly that he doubted Matt had heard him.

They sat like that for a while longer before Matt pressed a kiss to his head and moved away. "Thank you."

Mello didn't think it warranted a response and simply went back to his laptop to completely delete the e-mail. Though he was sure that if Matt tried hard enough he would be able to retrieve it again.

"The police still haven't found a lead on the car, I hadn't expected they would." Matt told him sometime later; though he sounded hesitant towards the end, as though there was something more he was debating on saying.

"Against my better judgment, I want to take a look at where the camera was taken from." Mello grinned suddenly at Matt's sour expression. Matt merely sighed at him.

"We'll be as careful as we can. Don't worry too much." he told the irritated redhead. Though Mello fund it funny that he of all people should give the last bit of advice. Matt's raised eyebrow told the same story.

Mello spent the rest of their time awake attempting to cut out L and get into contact with some of the people who sometimes worked for him, though that was an even bigger long shot than contacting his own contacts.

By eleven o'clock he had begun to yawn every few minutes and decided to call it a night. He doubted he would be any more productive the longer he stayed awake. He shut the laptop down and placed it back into the carrying bag before getting himself ready for bed.

He found Matt slipping on a t-shirt and standing in his boxers by the time he came out and found that he felt a bit awkward at the thought of sleeping next to him after the night befores activities.

Though to his wonderment, he found that he probably wouldn't mind should Matt bring the subject up again. He palmed his face and huffed out a small groan like laugh. He ignored Matt's look of curiosity and slid beneath the covers and left the lights to Matt.

Matt stayed on his side of the bed and didn't attempt to initiate any contact with him, and despite the soft voice in the back of his mind shouting disappointment, he smiled contently.

Things were definitely changing. Maybe after all was said and done, he should thank Anderson as he put a bullet in his skull.

Maybe.

**-End **_**Bounty**_**-**

**AN**: I'll have you know that it killed me to write this chapter, as I found it necessary, but I had reaaaaalllllly wanted to get to the next chapter. My bad?

On another note, the one day I had a major issue writing this, happened to be jan 26. I hadn't even known it was that date until I read some fanfics. You can see how often I actually _look_ at the date on my calendar rather than the pretty Death Note pictures? (Sadly Mello doesn't fall on my b-day month, ryuk does I think, so I'm going to paste it over with a pic of Mello and Matt to make that month better. Yup....)

K, I'm done rambling........

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Yaoiluver190, foreverunloved, Keono, Lellozawa, Ash, Aoayame, Ironytoday, Rin, sareyva,

dramaq, critter141151

**Review???**


	11. Chapter 10: Encounter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note (trust me if I did, Mello would have pwnt Near and lived)

**AN:** I don't know if anyone has noticed this, but if you look at my fics, for whatever reason a lot of the chapter titles begin with 'C'.... (I actually had to change the title of the chapter because I was going crazy over the fact that it started with another 'C')

Also, I will be posting the prologue to my new novel length fic within the next week, once I get some feedback on it from the people I have spammed. :)

**Suggested Listening**: Bulletproof Skin** by **Institute**; **45** by **Shinedown

**Chapter 10**: _Encounter_

Mello's luck hadn't held out and he had woken after only a few short hours of sleep. He found that the lack of sleep affected him more now that he had a night or two of rest. He sighed heavily and hoped that he wouldn't wake Matt. Though he understood that was probably inevitable considering how tiny the room was, and he wasn't about to sit in the dark until the sun rose.

He settled for sitting cross legged on the bathroom floor with his laptop on and the door ajar. It was the only alternative to either sitting in the car, which he knew Matt wouldn't have approved of, or turning the main lights in the room on.

Neither would have ended well.

"Should I even ask?" came the half yawned question sometime later; Matt was leaned against the doorframe with tired eyes. Mello was more than happy he hadn't awoken him earlier than that.

"I didn't know if the typing would bother you, and I wanted the light on."

Matt laughed and shook his head. "Thank you, but do you mind vacating the bathroom for a minute?"

He nodded and placed the laptop on the floor and stood on shaky legs. He stretched and eased the tension that had built up over the hours and retrieved the laptop as he left. The door closed behind him and he smiled.

The digital clock in the room stated that it was just after six and Mello estimated that he'd been in the bathroom for over four hours. It was no wonder his muscles had cramped.

While he waited for Matt to finish up, though he supposed the redhead was shaving and the like as well, he dressed himself in leather once more and packed whatever he didn't need back into his duffle bag.

He opened the mini refrigerator and picked out two cartons of leftovers and one of the spare forks. Nearly ten minutes later Matt exited the bathroom and stared at him. "I guess I'm not going to get you to eat a normal breakfast am I?"

Mello shook his head much to the redhead's amusement and continued to eat the rest of the now mixed containers. They left not too long after Matt had eaten and handed in the hotel key.

Matt had just pulled into the parking lot of a store, as he insisted they needed a few things before they went to check out the camera, when his phone rang.

Mello had made a move to grab it but Matt picked it up and answered before he could get to it. "Hello?"

He watched as Matt frowned and quickly maneuvered his laptop onto the coffee holders and typed furiously with his upper body twisted to see the screen while the phone sat rested between his ear and shoulder.

"You are assuming that I give a damn." Mello could just hear a bit of laughter on the other end as Matt swore and the phone dropped. He went to pick it up but Matt shook his head.

"Hung up on me." was all he said as he continued for another few seconds to type before he smiled. "I have a feeling he stayed on just long enough for me to trace it... but I have a location. And it's _very_ public."

Mello was surprised. Perhaps all they'd had to do was wait Anderson out; the man never had been the patient type after a certain point.

"He says he has Jasper. I'm not sure whether or not to believe him." Matt's frown had deepened as he shut the laptop.

"We can't just sit here when we know where he is. You said it's public right?" Mello only continued once Matt had nodded the affirmative. "And I may be wrong, but I don't think he'd do anything crazy in a crowded area." though after so many years Mello wasn't even so sure of that anymore.

But what choice did they have really? The entire point of them coming to New York had been to confront him; they couldn't just sit around when they knew where he was, or at least where he had been. There was no guarantee that he was still there.

There were no more spoken words on the matter as Matt turned the ignition and headed off to the busy shopping district. They parked about two blocks away and didn't immediately move into the area; having decided to do a bit of surveillance before they rushed into anything.

"He's much older, but that's definitely him. It's Anderson Carlyle."

They carefully moved with the crowd until they were mere feet from the man. "Well Mello, it has been many years for us, hasn't it?" the man's voice was scratchy and more weathered than Mello would have expected.

Then again, surviving death could do that to people.

Anderson didn't seem surprised to see them, in fact he seemed rather amused and Mello likened his confidence to be like that of before when he'd strutted around like the Don or a god.

Mello truly _hated_ him.

"How did you pull it off?" Anderson questioned, though he made no move to get up from his seat outside of the cafe. Mello didn't need any more explanation as to what was meant.

"Does it really matter?" he asked and shifted ever so slightly so that his hand was on his hip, and in quick access to the gun.

"No, I suppose it doesn't. Won't you join me?" Anderson questioned with a smirk and Mello's eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses.

"It was your own fault anyway. You should have just let me climb the ranks like I was supposed to." Mello commented airily and gave a smug grin as the smirk fell from Anderson's lips. He was playing a dangerous game, he knew it, but he wasn't going to let that man keep his calm.

"You have no idea what you did, do you?" Anderson asked rhetorically with a shake of his head. "My entire family was killed because of you. My sister raped and then left to burn inside the house after they had lit it on fire. Never mind the wounds I had to survive after I had escaped."

Mello felt cold wash over him and the twinge of guilt of the innocents killed, but it only lasted a second. Anderson, and his family, deserved no pity. Not when Anderson had done much the same, even if it were only in recent days.

"What, do you want to have a cry on my shoulder?" he sneered. He watched the dark look that slithered across the aging mans face, but it passed before too long and Mello was honestly surprised at the restraint he'd shown.

Mello really didn't want to be the one to pull a gun first, though he hoped that when Anderson did he would wait before he fired. He seemed the type to monologue.

"For so many years my anger consumed me. I thought so many times of tracking you down to exact my revenge, especially as the reports that you'd left the mafia came to me. You wouldn't have the protection of the family anymore…

But then came that surprising broadcast. And what a shock it was to find that you of all people were a successor of the great L! And the humiliating tortures you endured, I did enjoy those by the way.

Well it was enjoyable until I found that you had been rescued, though it was widely speculated that you were dead."

Mello felt great fury as Anderson spoke so flippantly about his captivity, and though he didn't let any of it show on his face he had a feeling that Anderson knew about it anyway.

"It wasn't all that hard to track you down to the hospital you had been at, though I had gotten there two days too late. L had moved you to someplace else. But money is a wondrous thing, and it wasn't hard to find out just what condition that you left the hospital in." Anderson's carefully blank expression turned into a wide grin as his eyes briefly glanced at Mello's left side.

"So I've spent the last few years plotting, one might say. I have quite the little group formed. And suffice to say, none of them like you very much. You have wronged very many people, and a lot of them are in the mafia."

Mello found that he stood straighter at the news. If the mafia was involved it complicated matters a little. Though it was possible he had only rounded up a few members to add to his group and was simply boasting to unsettle him. It was impossible to truly know.

"I ordered that everyone who had ties to you be gotten rid of, though Takahashi's family had to be last as they were rather well established in this area."

Matt placed a hand on his arm and though he doubted Anderson had spotted it, he had made a slight movement towards him. He stilled, and felt Matt's grip relax slightly.

"I then used every resource I had to track down any leads on you. And what a surprise it was to get a tip about a blonde in leather surfacing in England only to vanish just like smoke. I personally took a trip there and low and behold after months of searching I found you in a grocery store, the missing hand being the clincher despite your familiar features.

I quickly put the rest of the plan into action. I knew that you would be drawn to New York, just like a moth to a flame."

Anderson paused to take a sip of whatever beverage he had, and Mello saw a scar on the side of his neck and wondered if that had been from his escape or from something else he had gotten into.

"I was surprised however to find that you had taken a lover." Mello sucked in a short breath and Matt's fingers tightened around his arm.

Anderson snickered and continued. "Oh, did you think I wouldn't know what your relationship with the redhead was? That's unlike you, leaving something unthought-of..." Anderson trailed off with a wide grin.

"Did Mello ever tell you what he used to do for the mafia? He was such a good little whore." Anderson sneered. Matt glanced at him but Mello merely snorted in mirth.

"What would you know, your slimly hands never once touched me." he supposed it was in poor taste to joke about something that had messed him up so badly but he would do it again just for the look of rage on Anderson's face.

"I'm going to end this conversation now. I have something else to do at the moment." Anderson said as he fiddled with his phone and only seconds later Matt's phone rang. "I sent you a text with directions on where to meet with me should you survive."

Mello shared a quick look with Matt and just as Anderson stood his men started to close in on them, weapons drawn.

The second the sound of one of the triggers being pulled sounded they each dove in a different direction and as the gunshots rang out screams followed. The heavily crowded area was now filled with screaming people running from something that they were not a part of.

Mello was crouched behind a rubbish bin that was only just wide enough and peered behind the side of it. His heart was pounding in his chest and he idly wondered where the hell the police were, unless Anderson had ties to them, in which case they wouldn't be coming for some time.

He could only just see Matt, who was closer to the cafe than him, and noted with some alarm that Matt seemed to be edging his way closer to him. He would be shot full of led before he even had a chance to get halfway across the open space between them. There was nothing for him to take cover behind and Anderson's goons wouldn't miss the opportunity.

"Don't come closer! Get the hell out of here!" he screamed. It drew their full attention to him rather than at Matt, who was closer. Matt hesitated but still appeared to be thinking of running across the firing to get to him.

Mello refused to have him hurt, or worse, killed. He pulled the gun from its position tucked into the leather and fired off a few rounds by the men who shouted obscenities at him.

"I'll call soon." he yelled to Matt as a line of gunfire peppered the rubbish bin he hid behind. A few straggling street goers screamed and took off running from some store entryway to the left of the cafe and Mello took his chance and ran.

Gunfire followed him and though he hated doing it he put the group of people between himself and the gunmen. He heard a startled scream and a thud and prayed that the person wouldn't die.

His breathing was labored and he heard the pounding of footsteps behind him but didn't look to see if it was the remaining street goers or Anderson's men. He knew Matt would be pissed at him for this, but the idiot hadn't given him a choice. Despite that, Mello supposed it was actually the best decision to have been made.

They had been sitting ducks before but now as they, or at least he, moved though the streets they had better coverage and a chance of blending in and surviving.

He hoped that Matt had gotten out of there, because if Matt-

He closed his eyes briefly and forced the thoughts from his mind. If he got distracted he was as good as dead. "Hurry!" he heard a soft yell and noted a middle aged woman waving to a group of sobbing girls who came from the same direction as him.

"He's got to be around here somewhere, find him!" he swore as he heard the shouts of Anderson's men and quickly darted in behind the girls and into the clothing store. The manager, if the tag was correct, shut the door and locked it before drawing the expensive looking blinds closed. He hunched foreword slightly, hand on his leg for support. He cursed himself for letting his body get so out of shape.

Physical injury or not it was no excuse. Had he been any slower he probably would have been shot already. He made a mental note, that if they got out of this alive, that he was getting in shape again.

"Are you alright?" the manager asked both him and the girls. He nodded while the girls let out a gaggle of shaky answers. He moved away from the door as his breathing calmed and looked around the store to find a few dozen other people locked inside with him.

Some of them were huddled together and whispering whiles others talked loudly into their phones or texted. But he was sure all of them were going on about the gunfire. There would be wild theories going on, and he was sure that his and Matt's descriptions would be going out as the ones being fired on, though they would still be wanted for questioning.

But if Anderson truly did have people inside the police then being detained by them was the absolute worst case scenario besides being caught by Anderson's men.

Now that things had clamed down and the adrenalin had worn off he sagged slightly, wearily. He looked over at a boyfriend cradling what he assumed was his girlfriend in his arms. Matt would definitely be pissed, but he would hopefully be alive.

Though he could only imagine what Matt would be thinking at this time. Was he still stuck in harms way? Was he worrying over him?

Mello winced at the last thought. He desperately wanted nothing more than to call the redhead, but if Matt wasn't in the clear that call could spell his death. With nothing more that he could do for the moment he slid to the ground, back against one of the walls, and waited.

He had to give Matt time to get somewhere relatively safe. He doubted the redhead would have been as lucky as he had been. Had that women not left the door open those few precious extra seconds he would have been trapped on the streets and left to find another place to hide.

As a general rule, the longer you went without cover the better the chance at being found.

He leaned his head against the wall and counted the minutes that went by. Each minute he counted the more his anxiety levels rose. He was able to wait just under forty minutes before the urge to call won out.

He walked up to the small group that had migrated to the door, peering out through the slits of the blinds, the manager included. "Excuse me, does anyone have a phone I could borrow for a second?" he asked quietly so as to not startle them.

"Sure, here you go." a business like woman, decked out in a designer suit with her nearly platinum blonde hair pulled back, told him as she reached into her purse and handed him a sleek black phone.

He thanked her and though he wanted to be away from them while he called he stayed right there so the woman wouldn't be suspicious of him, though he figured he was just being paranoid again.

He dialed Matt's number by memory and waited while it dialed. It didn't matter if their numbers floated around anymore as Anderson had both of them, probably through his connections only as the man had never been technologically savvy, and it would need some good equipment to have gotten their numbers. They would need a new everything by the time things was said and done, probably even a new flat.

"Mello?" Matt picked up on the second ring and sounded shaky. He closed his eyes and smiled slightly in relief.

"Thank god you're alright." he whispered.

"You are a complete _asshole_, just to let you know. I fucking love you, but I'm pissed as hell at you." he let out a breathy laugh but honestly didn't care how pissed off Matt was. He peered through the blinds to catch the street name and mentally calculated where exactly he was.

"Think you can meet me over by-" he dropped his voice to just below a whisper as he noted that the people around him seemed to be paying special attention to his conversation.

"Yeah, I'm not too far from there. Just don't panic if I'm not already there when you are, alright?"

He frowned at Matt's slightly amused tone but let it go. "Yeah. Hey Matt... I love you. Stay safe." he ended the call before anything more could be said and closed the phones lid. He mused on how much easier it was to tell the redhead he loved him when it was over the phone. He would have to work on that... among other things.

He handed the phone back to the woman, who's gaze had softened somewhat, and turned to the manager.

"Can you let me out, I'm meeting a friend in a few minutes?" he asked.

"Why would you want to go back out there? Stay here, it's at least a bit safer." the manager tried to persuade him.

"There haven't been any shots for a while now, and I can't leave my friend out there by himself." he insisted in a tone that suggested he would leave whether she willfully opened the door or not.

There were a few murmurs of agreement from behind him, though most were still glued in their spots and pouring over the news on their phones. The woman hesitated for a moment longer, obviously hoping that he would change his mind, before she took out her keys and unlocked the door.

He thanked them before darting out the door, two others following him before splitting off down the street. It was eerily quiet outside and it took him a few moments to get used to how much noise he could make.

The chosen place of meeting was around three blocks away from his location, as he still wasn't too sure if Anderson's men were lurking in the area or not. They were to meet behind one of the stores, and while it wouldn't provide great cover, it was better than standing in the street.

The closer he got the more people he saw and he relaxed only slightly. It seemed that nearly an hour was enough for people to start reemerging and ignoring the danger that had passed. But for them, perhaps it was a more common thing.

He walked more normally now, as skulking around would have drawn attention, and eventually ducked behind one of the stores. He waited anxiously for another ten minutes before he saw a flash of red and he was enveloped in strong arms.

He struggled slightly but calmed as he knew it was only Matt. "I thought you were done with those reckless actions?" Matt hissed into his ear and his grip tightened on him.

"You started it..." he murmured softly. Matt was safe. That was all he cared about. If Matt needed to vent a little he would let him.

Matt eventually let him go, but not before a quick kiss, and pulled out his phone. "I have the address that he sent me."

"It's a trap. Jasper might already be dead or not even there at all." Mello commented, though by Matt's nod he already knew. "We need to finish this..."

"Yeah, I guess we do." Matt fiddled with the phone for a moment though Mello didn't have a clue what he could be doing other than getting directions.

"I sent a message to L to tell him what we're up to. I don't expect help but at least we gave him a heads up." Matt shrugged.

"I bet you anything the police L notified will come to our aid _after_ the situation is resolved." he commented dryly. Matt shook his head with a laugh and grabbed his hand.

"Come on, let's go _borrow_ a ride."

Mello, despite himself, smiled.

**-End **_**Encounter**_**-**

**AN**: Wow this chapter got long...... it also marks the first time EVER that I have written 1800+ words a night three nights in a row. That will probably never happen again. (yes I'm a slow writer, I started out with a minimum of 500 words a night for all my fics, but Choices blew that out of the water and started the 1,000 words a night tradition though I generally get like 1200. I'm lame....)

And yes, OMG the next chapter is the conclusion. But don't worry there is an epilogue, though I wonder at that..... *shrugs*

5/1/2010===Oh, for **Silent Dance fans.**.... here is a summary of the sequel (though I currently am not writing it, it's slow going with that idea so it may be a year or more before I even make an attempt)

**Silent Reprise**

**Summary**: this place was full of unspoken rules and unspeakable acts… and yet despite that, it may have ended up being the best thing to happen to him. ~Silent Dance: Mello's Side

You all love me right?

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Aoayame, VladimirKyleTod, Keono, critter141151

**Review**???


	12. Chapter 11: Bang

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note.

**AN**: So here we are, the last actual chapter before the epilogue. And despite me originally being pissed I couldn't write the fic I planned to after Choices, I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed revisiting this universe.

But as I stated in the prologue. This is it. No more. Promise this time.

On to other news this fic, as the last in the series and the one closest to WSF in feel, has actually surpassed it in length. (I added everything up without the AN, as everyone knows I like to ramble on) And I think this may be my favorite in the series. *shrug*

**Suggested Listening**: Supernova **by **Ra**; **This Is It **by **Stained (yes I did go there with the title)**; **Cry Little Sister (club cave mix 2008) **by** G Tom Mac

**Chapter Eleven**: _Bang _

They were parked around a block away from the address situated inside of their borrowed car, but Mello's nerves were so tense they may as well have been outside the building waving.

Anderson hadn't specified a time so they had taken it upon themselves to take stock of the situation before they went in. They knew it was a trap. They were meeting on Anderson's terms and on Anderson's turf.

They were at a huge disadvantage and didn't even have the element of surprise. They had turned down the street just far enough to see his men guarding the outside of the building. For all they knew they could be shot dead on site, though Mello didn't believe so.

Anderson had put too much work into this for such a simple end. Or he at least wanted to do it himself.

Mello took one last sip of his coffee before Matt started the engine. There was no sense in staying parked that far away when they would have to be seen anyway. As they drove up to the building he couldn't help but feel as though they were driving towards his death.

He sincerely hoped not.

There was a multitude of shouting as they slowed to a stop and he shared a look with Matt as the doors were yanked open. Matt was instantly frisked and his gun taken and Mello was immediately surprised by the fact that he hadn't been.

A younger man walked over to him and he knew his luck hadn't held out. "Don't bother with him; boss says he can't hold a gun with that hand." Mello wasn't sure whether to be grateful that Anderson seemed to know all of his flaws or extremely pissed off.

He settled somewhere between the two and scowled at the men that grabbed his arms and jerked him foreword. He watched as Matt purposely shuffled his feet to make it more difficult and hoped that the redhead wouldn't decide to antagonize them while they were inside.

They were manhandled all the way inside and down a hallway before being shoved into some room with the door left wide open, as though they were no threat whatsoever. He had taken note of all the possible escape routes should they be given the chance to use them.

From the outside one couldn't tell that the building had been abandoned, but from just one look inside it was quite obvious that it hadn't been used for commercial use in some time.

"How much time do you think we have until he gets his lazy ass down here?" Matt questioned from his position closest to the door.

"Not long enough for you to set anything up I'm afraid." Anderson commented as he grabbed Matt's arm and twisted it behind him and pulled him close, gun to his temple. "Fuck!" Matt swore and Mello completely shared the sentiment though he didn't say anything.

It had been an oversight on their part to assume that he hadn't been waiting, probably obsessively, for them to arrive and make a mistake. And Matt not having moved from the doorway quickly enough had been one.

But Anderson had also made a mistake. He hadn't checked him for weapons. Just because his shot suffered now didn't mean he wouldn't have one.

Anderson forced Matt to move with him and further into the room; Mello took a half step back for every one Anderson took. It wouldn't do to be too close to the man. Anderson had always been a good shot.

"So what now?" he questioned the man while his eyes took in every detail. If he took Anderson out his men would instantly rush the room before they could even make it to the stairwell a few doorways down and to the left.

"What now?" Anderson laughed and his gun pressed more harshly into Matt's skull. "Now I kill him to make you understand some of what I went through."

Mello froze in his spot. He hadn't thought that Anderson would do something like that so quickly. But considering his back story, perhaps they both should have. But no matter what, he couldn't let Matt die...

"And while I won't make the mistake of leaving you alive for too long afterwards, I will make sure you suffer." he ran the gun down the side of Matt's face before knocking him hard upside the head with the barrel.

Mello forced himself to stay where he was even as Matt hissed slightly in pain.

"I do wish that you had more people you cared about, perhaps then I would have the same thing reenacted. Though we could probably still have him raped, would that do it for you?" he swallowed thickly at the manic gleam in Anderson's eyes.

If anything he'd prefer Matt to be shot quickly than to have to go through that.

"Perhaps I should call some of my men in from outside, I'm sure they'd enjoy him. Then we could lock him in the building and watch him go up in flames like my sister did. What do you say Mello?"

But he hadn't paid much attention to the threats, instead he'd locked onto the piece of information Anderson probably hadn't intended to give away. His men were _outside _the building.

Matt had grasped that as well and after a slight nod from Matt, he closed his eyes. Mello knew his hand was shaky at best while holding a gun, it being proven earlier, but he wasn't just going to let Anderson kill Matt. And with Matt's consent...

"What? Have nothing to say to that?" Anderson laughed but his expression turned to that of shock as Mello pulled out his gun and fired. Anderson's laughter was cut off as the bullet lodged into his neck and blood gushed out.

A second gunshot rang out and Mello's heart leapt into his throat.

Both Anderson and Matt were in a heap on the dirty floor and for a sickening moment he thought Matt had been hit. But as the redhead stirred it became apparent that he had merely been pulled down by Anderson's grip on him, his head having been turned just in time to move out of the guns path.

"We have to get our ass's out of here now." he pulled Matt off the floor and dragged him from the room. They probably only had a few minutes at best before Anderson's men came to investigate. They had probably been told that they'd hear gunfire so they shouldn't investigate right away.

Anderson's downfall had been his assumption that Mello hadn't had a weapon and wouldn't fire with Matt in his grasp.

Anderson had always been an idiot.

They rushed up the flight of stairs to the next floor, it was apparently an abandoned office building though it hadn't been apparent from the ground floor, and searched for an out, preferably a fire escape of some kind.

They heard the shouts from down below about 'their boss being dead' and that they were to blow the building in ten. They looked at each other.

"Seconds or minutes?!" Matt swore and they ran for the window that overlooked the building next to them, just half a room away. Mello mentally counted the seconds off in his head and with horror realized they wouldn't quite make it.

The roar was deafening as the building blew up around them as they jumped for the window, glass shattering around them like diamonds; the blast tossed them into the air like rag dolls. They were flung against the brick walls of the building next to them.

Mello held onto Matt with all the strength he had, it being made difficult with only one hand, but he managed it.

His eyes were shut tight to avoid the glass that fell with them and he awaited the inevitable hurt, and probable death, that would envelope him when they hit the ground.

It hurt alright, his leg exploding in pain after a sickening crunch, but they had landed on something moderately soft and plastic feeling but he didn't dare open his eyes until everything had stopped falling.

"Mello?" he shook his head slightly, feeling the glass flake off, and slowly opened his eyes. He snorted in mirth. They had landed in a dumpster. A fucking _dumpster_!

"I bet we'll be safe in here while they leave. I'm not sure if I could move at the moment or not.." Matt told him with a smile, though it was strained. He looked down and searched the redhead for injuries until he noticed something poking out from his side; it looked like a piece of metal.

"Fuck." he tried to move off the redhead but instantly got lightheaded as he moved his leg. He leaned his head onto Matt's chest and took a deep breath to will the nausea away.

"Mello?!"

"What a fucking mess we are. You can't get up with that in your side, and I cant move because I broke my fucking leg." he snorted in laughter at the absurdity of it. Matt obviously didn't share his sentiments for all he did was sigh and try to shift into a sitting position.

It didn't work too well, they were so jam packed into the garbage that it would have been hard to get out if they hadn't been injured.

"Of all the things, I never thought we'd die in a giant rubbish bin." he supposed he was being morose, but what were the odds of them getting out of there on their own? They certainly couldn't call for help, the only people who would come would be Anderson's men, and even then with all the noise the explosion had made it was impossible to tell if they'd even be heard at all. And Matt's phone had been taken before they entered the building.

They went silent and eventually the sounds of sirens came, as well as fire engines and people yelling and rushing about to stop the fire that was left behind.

Mello found himself falling asleep despite all off the sounds until he was being shaken awake to complete silence. It was late afternoon, possibly even early evening, and there was a blurry face staring at him from above with a wide and exasperated grin.

"How the fuck?" he managed to mumble.

"I've been attempting to track you fuckers ever since I went on the run. But every time I got to your last location you had moved. Seriously you make it a bitch to find you guys." Jasper laughed as he began to haul Mello from the dumpster.

Mello bit back the pain and refused to make a sound despite Matt's watchful eyes on him. Jasper set him on the ground and he sat there in a half daze as his foggy mind woke from its slumber. He knew that he had probably fallen asleep not too long ago, but that his body had probably needed to recharge after that shock.

It only just occurred to him that Matt hadn't seemed surprised to see Jasper. "How long have you been trying to wake me?" he asked as Matt was set on his feet while Jasper quickly inspected the wound in Matt's side.

"About six minutes. You were out light a light. But I wasn't really all that worried as you were still breathing." the previously missing man stated as he backed up. "Think you can walk?" he directed at Matt, who nodded.

Mello grit his teeth as he was picked up by Jasper and his broken leg dangled and swayed until he thought he might pass out. One would think he'd be used to pain by then...

"He'd only been hit in the shoulder, that's the blood we saw. He then went to a doctor friend of his and got himself patched up and hid there while he searched for us." Matt told him as they moved to a dark blue four door truck.

Matt climbed into the rear passenger side and Mello was brought to the other side and sat in the middle so his leg could be propped up across the rest of the seat. Mello vaguely noted how he was no longer in contact with Matt and moved to rectify it.

Again he'd almost lost the redhead, and if things went downhill he still might, and he couldn't help the almost overwhelming need to be close to him. To feel him, alive.

He leaned against Matt's side until the redhead moved his arm to pull him closer. The position was awkward and slightly uncomfortable for all his aching muscles but he didn't move. Every few minutes Matt would glance down, as though he still couldn't believe that he hadn't pulled away by then, or perhaps believing he still would.

But Mello had definitely had enough of that; even if it made him uncomfortable at times, even if he was in tears, even if everything felt so incredibly_ wrong_, he was never letting go of Matt again.

"Matt?"

Matt looked down at him, goggles askew and dirt covered, blood matting his red hair and dripping down his face. "Yeah Mello?"

He leaned up and kissed him, Matt's shocked moan making him grin despite the pain that jarred his leg. They should have been dead, and if not for Jasper and his impeccable timing, probably would have been in a few hours if not sooner.

"You alright Mello?" Matt asked, just a little dazed sounding, when they finally pulled apart.

Mello gave him a smile, one of the first real ones in a long time. "Yeah, I think so. I really do." Matt's eyebrows rose to his hairline and he stole another kiss.

Maybe all he had really needed was something to knock some sense into him; something to truly make him _understand_ all he had to lose. He wasn't over his issues, not by a long shot, but he would be damned if he pushed the only person who loved him away, ever again.

"If you two are done making out, I'd like to get you patched up before you _bleed _to _death_. If that's alright with you?" Jasper asked a little sarcastically as he parked the car. Mello shrugged and leaned more fully into Matt. Damn was he tired. Though that could be attributed to the blood that oozed from his leg and who knew what else.

He hadn't even realized they had stopped.

Guess Jasper had his points.

"Hey Jasper..... just make sure everyone either thinks we got killed in the explosion, or we died during treatment." both Matt and Jasper looked at him questioningly.

"If we are dead, then no more ghosts can haunt us." he murmured sleepily. He felt Matt's chest move in silent laughter.

"I guess you're right. Sort of like our own version of witness protection I suppose." Matt added and lifted him from the car, though how the redhead had managed it with his own injuries was a mystery to Mello.

"I don't care if you want to call yourselves dead or not, but I better get an actual phone call at least once a week, I'm sick of finding shit out when I'm trying to be murdered. Fuckers shot bullets all through my apartment..." Jasper grumbled.

Mello let his fingers curl around the singed fabric of Matt's deer skin vest and laughed. Only Jasper would worry about a few pieces of furniture. His logic had _always_ been a bit skewed.

Jasper apparently didn't bother with using a back or side door and marched them through the front entrance and into the building.

"Why not come with us?" Mello offered and scrunched his eyes up at the influx of bright florescent lights.

His nose was assaulted with the smell of antiseptic and he assumed that they weren't in an underground doctor's office or such, probably the one that had patched Jasper up.

And knowing Jasper, they were _good_.

"If you get a large enough place. I don't want to be cooped up in a three room apartment with you lunatics." Jasper spat, though he had a wide grin on his dirt smudged face. Things would be better from then on, he thought.

They had to be.

.......

.......

He heard voices, sounding far away but becoming clearer the more his mind woke from it's haze. Everything ached so he doubted that he was dead or dreaming.

It took a few attempts, as his eyes felt glued together, before he was able to pry his eyelids open by sheer will power alone. The room was dark though he could just make out a hint of light from down the hallway.

He was in some sort of bedroom then. Because no hospital bed was that comfortable.

He remembered arriving at their destination, Matt carrying him, and then.... nothing.

It was blank, as though the memories had been wiped clean.

He gave himself a few more minutes to fully wake, the memories still not forthcoming, and wanted to be coherent when he alerted them that he was awake. He was thirsty as hell and his mouth gave the sensation that he had eaten cotton.

Not even ten minutes later he hears footsteps that stop in the doorway, though he doubted that they knew he was awake. "A glass of water would be nice." he mumbled, his voice sounded raspy, startling the person who had been watching him.

He was glad that he'd let his eyes slip shut for a moment as the light was suddenly flicked on in the room.

He carefully opened his eyes and let them adjust to the bright light, though he supposed it was only a normal bulb that seemed unbearable to him. He struggled into a seated position while the man, an older gentleman with graying hair, poured him water from a small pitcher that had been on his bedside.

He would have seen it if the damn light had been on to start with.

He took the glass and only lifted it to his lips when he was certain he wouldn't drop it. It wasn't so much that his hand was weak, as it was sluggish from disuse. Though how long he'd been out he didn't know.

"I'm surprised honestly." the man stated. Mello looked up at him blankly. "From what I've hear about you, I'm surprised you weren't demanding to know who I am. Or where you are."

It hadn't occurred to him that he should, as his last memories had suggested that he was safe. He narrowed his eyes.

"You really don't want to rile him up, he may have a broken leg but he'd probably beat you to death with the cast if he thought you were a threat." Mello rolled his eyes at Jasper, who's voice had come from the doorway.

"Don't give him any ideas." Matt called from behind Jasper and lightly shoved at the man to get him to move, Jasper reacted with a snort of amusement though didn't do anything back. The slow way Matt walked suggested he probably shouldn't have even been up.

"You've been out for a few days." Matt told him softly as he sat on the edge of the bed, his face was slightly pale though he didn't appear to be in any pain.

He took another sip of water before attempting to speak again. "Why?" his voice was still slightly raspy though at least now he had an explanation as to why.

"Your leg got infected, not surprising since you boys were in that dumpster for so long." Mello felt as though he'd been splashed with cold water. The last time he'd had an infected limb...

He forced himself not to tense, and to calm down. Jasper had mentioned a cast, which would naturally mean he still had his leg. "He probably could have phrased that a bit better." Matt sighed and rested his head against his shoulder.

His naked flesh warmed where the skin of Matt's forehead touched him. He hadn't even realized he was shirtless. What the hell medications had he been on, or was still on?

He hated a foggy mind.

"Well at least my memory lapse is explained." he commented dryly though Matt looked up at him in question. He sighed.

"I remember nothing after the moment we stepped inside the building." Mello supposed he could have passed out or something, though he would have to ask at some point. Right now he wanted coffee, and something to eat.

Though he doubted he'd actually get the former unless it was decaf.

He found he hadn't any need to state his thoughts as his stomach chose that moment to let out a loud groan that left Jasper in peals of laughter. Honestly, it wasn't that amusing.

"Alright Jasper, lets get them something to eat. We can poke and prod him later." the older man stated, though Mello now believed him to be the doctor. He couldn't be certain though.

The main light was shut off though the bright hallway light was switched on which illuminated the room in a soft half-light. He wondered if they assumed they would rest a bit before they actually ate.

He was still tired...

He noted how Matt still sat on the edge of the bed, though there was plenty of room for him to have lain down. He began to get that almost itchy feeling the longer Matt stayed in contact with him and eventually pulled away and flopped back onto the pillows.

He heard Matt sigh heavily and move to get up. His heart fluttered unexpectedly and he gently grasped the redheads arm. "Stay." he mumbled. He felt Matt freeze in his grasp before his arm slipped from his grip.

For an agonizing moment he thought Matt might still leave, though all Matt did was curl on his side next to him. He was smiling.

Mello yawned in response and shifted closer though not enough to touch.

"Love you..." he murmured to the redhead. He realized it was the first time he said it to him in person in a very long time. The phone call didn't count.

Matt entwined their fingers and Mello knew that everything would be alright. Maybe not completely. But for now, it was enough.

**-End **_**Bang**_**-**

**AN:** YAY IT'S FINISHED! Well almost... there is still the epilogue. But other than that its done.

So tell me what you all think? (by the way, this totally blew the original out of the water word wise, and this was in 3rd person! Ha, take thaT!)

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Agent Texas, Rin, Keono, Aoayame, critter141151

**ReViEw???**


	13. Epilogue: Hunch

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note. Damn if I don't wish I did though.

**AN**: I have to say, this practically wrote itself. Usually I have trouble with my epilogues but this was easy. Huh..

And let me just say....... I love Jasper! He completely amuses me as half the crap that comes out of his mouth is not planned. :)

**Suggested Listening**: Naturally **by** Selena Gomez**; **Today Was A Fairytale** by **Taylor Swift_(yes I am guilty of listening to this! But I didn't actually find this until this was long since written, but I found I like how it goes with the end portion)_

**Epilogue**:_ Hunch_

Mello sifted from his position on the couch and turned the page of the book as he listened to the faint sounds of Jasper and Matt argue about something; more than likely it was game related.

Over the past few months Jasper had taken to playing with Matt on his various game consoles, and though he was a sore looser at times, seemed to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere.

He let a small smile drift onto his features and flipped another page.

They had their own house now. A certifiable mansion compared to what they were used to. But it was more than big enough to fit all of their addictions as well as for Jasper to have his own section.

It was a two story house. There was somewhere around six bedrooms, though Mello knew they would never need that many, three and a half baths, one large dining room, two living rooms and a nicely sized kitchen that Mello had fallen in love with.

There was also a sun room, which he was reading in, as well as a study converted into a game room where Jasper and Matt currently were. His smile faded just a little as he thought on Matt.

He had been acting a little peculiar for the past week though Mello could find no reason for it; and he doubted it had anything to do with their sometimes late night activities. His cheeks heated up and he sighed irritably.

He palmed his face and tried to rid himself of the blush. He wondered if he'd ever get over this stage again.

Though there were still many times when he simply did not wish for anyone, especially Matt, to touch him. But at least both of them were trying to fix the problem now.

Mello frowned as he realized he had sidetracked his own thoughts. His eyes scanned the words on the page more slowly and didn't bother to rush into the gaming room at the sound of a crash.

He had learned after the first time to just leave them to it.

But back to the matter at hand. Matt was acting strange, well strange for him. He seemed almost nervous. And what was worse Mello had a feeling Jasper knew what was going on, though it could have just been a hunch on his part as Jasper was generally good at guessing things.

Mello generally was as well, but with Matt it all went out the window. The damn gamer would find a way to deflect or distract him from his questions and he usually forgot what he had asked until later.

He doubted that it was anything serious; at least he didn't think so...

He sighed again and closed the book just as footsteps approached. He wasn't going to get any reading done at the moment. But it was probably for the best anyway. He did have to start cooking dinner soon.

He had no idea what had prompted the urge to cook that night, but the second he'd suggested it Jasper had jumped at the chance to help him, which had been odd as the man usually avoided the kitchen like it were the plague.

Mello believed that Jasper was generally too lazy to cook.

And though it felt odd, he wasn't about to turn down help. Well, so long as Jasper didn't mess anything up.

"Hey Mello." Matt greeted jovially as he swooped down for a kiss, which Mello allowed as he had been in a generally calm state of mind for the past while.

"Your boyfriend cheats. There is no way he can continuously win like that." Jasper complained.

"Right. Because the alternative is that you just suck." he mumbled and grinned slightly at the frown on Jasper's face though the elder male didn't comment further other than to glare at the redhead next to him.

"Well I'm going to go work on an important hack, have fun you two." Matt said as he walked, more like slouched, from the room. Mello shook his head and looked to Jasper who shrugged.

"Cooking I guess?" Jasper asked though he was already on his way to the kitchen by the time Mello actually got up. There was simply something odd about the way the two of them were acting, and it was beginning to seriously bug him that he couldn't fathom a reason why.

He descended the stairs and heard the soft clangs of metal as Jasper pulled the cookware from their hiding spots in the cupboards. Mello took the time, as Jasper set things up, to gather extra ingredients that he hadn't been able to set out earlier.

Jasper was actually surprisingly helpful in the kitchen, a fact that Mello was now going to exploit anytime he could manage it. Jasper seemed to realize this as he glowered at him from time to time as he passed him items or finished a task.

A while later he spooned up a small bit of sauce and tasted it but found that it was lacking something. He left the cover open while he went over to the walk in pantry and pulled out a small container.

He had obviously misjudged how much to put in it earlier.

He stirred the sauce once more and tasted it again, just to make sure it wasn't a simple case of not stirring in the ingredients enough, though he knew it wasn't. A pair of arms wrapped themselves around him and he started for a moment.

"Bastard..." he grumbled slightly as Matt's chin came to rest on his shoulder.

"How are things going?" Matt asked though he made no move to do anything to help, or do anything else for that matter.

"Fine. Jasper has now been promoted to kitchen aid whenever the whim strikes me. He's surprisingly useful." Mello commented as he released the wooden spoon and watched it swirl slightly before stopping to rest against the edge of the sauce pot.

Matt laughed at the annoyed grumble from across the room where Jasper was working on the desert.

Mello wondered if the announcement earlier about a hack had simply been an excuse for Matt to play games without being interrupted. If the redhead was truly in the middle of an important hack he wouldn't have been pried away from the laptop even if the house was falling down around him.

Matt moved his head and kissed his neck just as Mello opened the container to add a bit more salt to the boiling pot and he shivered as the sensitive skin tingled. The area where his scars rested was always more sensitive.

Matt gently nipped at the area and he nearly dropped the salt container into the sauce but managed not to at the last moment.

"Matt, stop molesting him and let him cook. I don't want to break out the jar sauce because you can't keep your hands _or_ mouth to yourself." Matt snorted though did drift away from him a bit.

"Don't you have some work to do?" Jasper pressed. Matt stuck his tongue out, Mello caught it from the corner of is eye, and was given one last kiss as the redhead left the kitchen as quickly as he had entered it.

Mello almost wished he'd stayed though he knew dinner wouldn't have gotten completed if he had. The almost salt incident proved it.

"Wonder what he's actually doing...?" he heard Jasper mutter as he replaced the lid to the pot and set the spoon on the counter. Mello wondered that as well but there was more cooking to be done and he wasn't all that curious.

It was another two hours before dinner was finished and Mello was more than happy to let Matt go about serving it for them as he was tired. But not so tired that he didn't enjoy the meal he and Jasper had cooked.

"Thanks Mello." Matt smiled at him and took a bite of the spaghetti. He often wondered why Matt seemed to like it so much, it was good to have once in a while though Matt seemed like he would be happy if it were the last food on the planet.

"Oh, it's 'thanks Mello'? In case you forgot I was in here with him." Jasper grumbled though Mello could tell it was all good natured. In fact, he half suspected Matt had started it on purpose.

He seemed nervous, if the slightly strained laughter was anything to go by. Or the awkward grip he had on his fork. Mello forced himself not to dwell on it though, as Matt would tell them when he needed something.

"I hope you didn't eat too much, I made chocolate cake." Jasper commented as he stood up to get the dishes.

"I got them, you guys did all the work. Sit down." Jasper eyed Matt with a questioning gaze but sat down after a few seconds with a shrug.

"Fine by me."

"Can I assume you are bringing the chocolate cake back with you?" Mello questioned much to the amusement of the other two. He rolled his eyes and ignored them after Matt had quickly nodded.

Matt disappeared through the archway and into the kitchen leaving him and Jasper sitting in comfortable silence. Mello rubbed slightly at his stomach and knew that he had eaten too much, though there was no way he was passing up anything chocolate because of it.

Jasper snorted in amusement until he flung a napkin at him. Then he started to laugh.

Mello just ignored him after that.

Matt walked back in a few minutes later, a plate in each hand while another rested on his forearm, with a slight grin on his face. Though Mello noted that there was a napkin seated on top of each piece.

"You look like a waiter." Jasper commented as he was handed the plate from Matt's left hand. Matt set the next one, the one held in his right hand, down at his own spot which left the last piece for Mello.

"Any reason for the napkin garnish?" he asked curiously. Matt simply shrugged and moved his to the side and forked off a piece of cake. He watched as Jasper did much the same, though he regarded the napkin suspiciously as though it might potentially be something dangerous.

Mello shook his head slightly at his friends' antics and removed his own napkin only to stare unblinkingly at what lay underneath. He sucked in a quiet breath and looked up at Matt questioningly, almost anxiously.

Was he really...?

"Mello..." Matt trailed off for a second. "Mihael, will you marry me?"

Mello released the breath. That was not something he had expected Matt to ask. _Ever_. And yet he couldn't stop the decidedly warm sensation that sprang from the depths of his being. Sometimes the best things were the ones that were truly unexpected.

Instead of simply answering he stood up and leaned across the table to kiss the slightly startled looking redhead. Jasper whistled as they broke apart, Mello whispering a soft 'yes' against Matt's lips.

Matt was grinning like an idiot and Mello couldn't help but answer with a grin of his own. Mello decided that if every wrong turn in his life had lead him to that moment, then he would never regret the _what if's_.

Because being with Matt was simply too amazing for words to explain, and he honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

**-End-**

**AN**: K, honestly, who didn't see that coming with the poll you all voted on? Was it alright? *is wondering what beta thinks* So this is the last chapter! This beast of a series is complete! No more. All loose ends are tied up and issues somewhat resolved. Everyone happy though?

Thoughts on this?

Anyway, the **new fic I promised **you is out , **End Transmission**. And in case you forgot about it, this is the summary :Matt learns that some secrets are perhaps, better left as secrets. He, Mello and Near are pulled into a sinister plot full of murder, kidnapping and lies. But Matt just couldn't seem to regret anything, no matter how it ended up. Future yaoi.

Give it a look?

**Special thanks to reviewers (who got me over 100!)**: Aoayame, critter141151, Keono, Rin

**Review?**


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